There was a young lady named Myrtle
Who had an affair with a turtle,
She had crabs, so they say,
In a year and a day,
Which proves that the turtle was fertile.

A young man whose sight was myopic
Thought sex an incredible topic.
So poor were his eyes,
That despite its great size,
His penis appeared microscopic.

There once was a couple named Kelly

who took crazy glue for petroleum jelly

They started to fuck

But found they were stuck

And had to get around belly to belly

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all his cash in a bucket,
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantookit.

A nudist by the name of Roger Peet
Loved to dance in the snow and the sleet,
But one chilly December
He froze every member,
And retired to a monkish retreat.

There was a young girl from Madrid
who swore that she’d never been rid
along came a halion
with balls like a stallion
and rid her like Billy the Kid

There was a young man from Darjeelin
who got on a train board for Ealing
it said on the door
don’t come on the floor
so he carefully came on the ceiling