There was a young man named McAmiter
Who had a tool of prodigious diameter.
What gave the girls surprise
Was not his size,
But his rhythm, iambic pentameter.

There was a young athlete named Grimmon
Who developed a new way of swimmin’.
By a marvelous trick
He would scull with his prick,
Which attracted loud cheers from the women.

There was a young lady of Wheeling,
Who professed to a lack of sexual feeling.
But a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped from the ceiling.

A virginal coed named Sherrie,
Awoke in the morning quite merry.
After cocktails last night,
To her utter delight,
She gave up her status as “cherry.”

There was a young Scotchman named Jock
Who had a most horrible shock:
He once took a shit
In a leaf-covered pit,
And the crap sprung a trap on his cock.

Meat-rationing did not terrify Miss Davey,
She got married to a sailor in the Navy,
For she knew between his legs
He had ham and he had eggs,
A big weenie, and oodles of white gravy.

There was a young man from the Coast
Who had an affair with a ghost.
At the height of orgasm
Said the pallid phantasm,
“I think I can feel it—almost!”