There once was an old man named Fletcher,
Well known as a terrible lecher.
A kiss he would steal,
And he’d cop a good feel,
From a woman if he could just catch her.

Grandpa’s dick is undoubtedly fickle,
Like a typical shriveled old pickle,
For whenever he
Feels that urge to pee,
The most that comes out is a trickle.

There once was a young man named Jack,
Who loved jumping into the sack.
For there was his wife,
The love of his life,
Aroused, with legs spread, on her back.

There once was a woman named Nancy,
Who waltzed with a man they called Clancey.
Soon after the dance,
He pulled down her silk pants,
Proceeding to tickle her fancy.

There once was a young masturbator,
Who bought an electric vibrator.
She lost it inside,
But the reason she died,
Was its faulty speed regulator.

There once was a grown man named Roy,
Who as a young innocent boy,
Discovered his peter,
And thought it much neater,
Than books or a game or a toy.

An indiscrete deacon named Fred,
Coaxed the minister’s wife into bed.
She seductively posed,
With her blessings exposed,
Thank God for this heavenly spread.