A virgin by name of Miss Prim
Is exceedingly ugly and grim;
But she still gets her joys
In the absence of boys
From the toys she employs in her quim.

Said Siegfried to Roy at the zoo,
“Be careful in all that you do,
Keep those lions at bay,
Or it will, I must say,
Be the first time a pussy ate you!”

There once was a man from Fort Myers
Who wrapped his balls up in wire
He flicked the switch
And oh what a bitch
His Balls began to catch fire

There was a man named Moulder
who tried it to through a boulder
instead he tripped on a rock
and grasped his own cock
and threw himself over his shoulder.

There once was a local called Land
Who had a quite limber right hand.
One night he screamed,
‘That damn Vaseline,
Some bastard has mixed it with sand!’

There once was a woman from New Zealand
Who had a peculiar feelin
She laid on her back
And tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceilin

There was a young man from Spartar,
Who was an incredible farter.
At the strength of one bean,
He could play “God Save the Queen”,
And Beethoven’s “Moonlight Senata”.

The selection was tough, I admit.
He didn’t stutter one little bit.
He threw his arse aloft,
And he suddenly coughed.
And collapsed in a shower of shit!