Since a stage-struck massage girl named Hart
Knows directors who sample her art,
She’s aware what controls
The assignment of roles
Is a good working grasp of the part.

There was once a man from Kent
Whose tool was so long that it bent
To save him the trouble
He put it in the double
And instead of coming he went.

I was cleaning the house in the nude,
The neighbor gal said I was rude,
For not closing the drapes,
While I scoured and scraped,
It made her quite ill…. so she sued.

There was a young sailor called Dave
Who kept a dead ‘ore in a cave
It took him some pluck
To have a cold fuck
But think of the money he saved!

There was a young lady from Ayr
Who remarked, “There is naught to compare
With the size and the force
And the thrust of a horse
As it fucks my sweet derriére.”

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