There was a young girl from Penzance
Who boarded a bus in a trance
A passenger fucked her
And so’d the conductor
The driver shot off in his pants.

There once was a woman named Schott
Who ate only pig shit and snot
When she ran out of these,
She lived on the cheese
That grew in the folds of her twat

“I’ll tell you,” smiled prom chairman Mose,
“Why Peggy’s the prom queen I chose:
She’s as cheerfully free
As the wind on the sea -
And besides, like the wind, Peggy blows!”

There once was a hacker named Ken
Who inherited truckloads of Yen
So he built him some chicks
Of silicon chips
And hasn’t been heard from since then.

There was a young whore from kaloo
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
“If they pay to get in,
They can pay to get out again too!”

Said Siegfried to Roy at the zoo,
Be careful in all that you do,
Keep those lions at bay,
Or it will, I must say,
Be the first time a pussy ate you!

There once was a man from Siberia
Whose morals were really inferior
He did to a nun,
What he shouldn’t have done
And now she’s a mother superior