An Australian farmer called Blue
Had a twenty foot didgeridoo.
They say that he slept
With the sheep that he kept
And he didgeridid them all too.

Linus pissed his kennel, to be sure,
At least he missed most of his fur.
I’m cranky, I tire
Heavily I respire
I’ll croak if much more I endure.

Gershwin enjoyed the caress
Of the cows that he kept and I guess
Out of all of the herd
Which he screwed he preferred
To be stuffing his porky in Bess.

There once was a dog named Linus;
He was a yippy thing — no shyness.
His kennel he wet
And started to fret
And woke me up with a pain in my sinus.

There once was a fellow from Yuma,
Who told an elephant joke to a puma.
Now his skeleton lies,
Under hot western skies,
The Puma had no sense of huma!

A broken-down lecher named Tupps
Was heard to confess in his cups:
“The height of my folly
Was diddling a collie -
But I got a nice price for the pups.”

A lady while dining at Crewe
Found an elephant’s whang in her stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
And don’t wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too.”