Daily Dirty Limerick » Animals

The vicar of Santa Domingo

tiki god — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 19:17:09 +0000

The vicar of Santa Domingo
Said to the curate, “By jingo!
Blast women and boys,
I need some new joys!”
And he promptly fucked a flamingo.

There once was a man from Peru

tiki god — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 19:15:44 +0000

There once was a man from Peru
Who was desperately hanging out for a screw.
He picked up a mole
And rammed home his pole
Then said, “Jesus, that was Long overdue.”

There was a young gigolo named Bruno

tiki god — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 19:06:02 +0000

There was a young gigolo named Bruno
Who said, “Screwing one thing i do know.
While women are fine,
And sheep are divine,
Llamas are numero uno!”

An Australian farmer called Blue

tiki god — Mon, 16 Jan 1978 15:00:47 +0000

An Australian farmer called Blue
Had a twenty foot didgeridoo.
They say that he slept
With the sheep that he kept
And he didgeridid them all too.

Linus pissed his kennel, to be sure

tiki god — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 15:00:49 +0000

Linus pissed his kennel, to be sure,
At least he missed most of his fur.
I’m cranky, I tire
Heavily I respire
I’ll croak if much more I endure.

Gershwin enjoyed the caress

tiki god — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:00:26 +0000

Gershwin enjoyed the caress
Of the cows that he kept and I guess
Out of all of the herd
Which he screwed he preferred
To be stuffing his porky in Bess.

There once was a dog named Linus;

tiki god — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 15:00:00 +0000

There once was a dog named Linus;
He was a yippy thing Ã¢â‚¬â€ no shyness.
His kennel he wet
And started to fret
And woke me up with a pain in my sinus.

There once was a fellow from Yuma

tiki god — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 15:00:18 +0000

There once was a fellow from Yuma,
Who told an elephant joke to a puma.
Now his skeleton lies,
Under hot western skies,
The Puma had no sense of huma!

A broken-down lecher named Tupps

tiki god — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 15:00:55 +0000

A broken-down lecher named Tupps
Was heard to confess in his cups:
“The height of my folly
Was diddling a collie -
But I got a nice price for the pups.”

A lady while dining at Crewe

tiki god — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:00:18 +0000

A lady while dining at Crewe
Found an elephant’s whang in her stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
And don’t wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too.”