Daily Dirty Limerick » Masterbation

There once was a young masturbator,

tiki god — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 15:11:59 +0000

There once was a young masturbator,
Who bought an electric vibrator.
She lost it inside,
But the reason she died,
Was its faulty speed regulator.

There once was a grown man named Roy

tiki god — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 15:11:42 +0000

There once was a grown man named Roy,
Who as a young innocent boy,
Discovered his peter,
And thought it much neater,
Than books or a game or a toy.

There was a young man of the land

tiki god — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 15:03:40 +0000

There was a young man of the land
Whose sex life had grown quite bland
He wanted a change
So the next time he came
He used his other hand.

There once was a fellow named Perkin

tiki god — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 19:27:18 +0000

There once was a fellow named Perkin
Who always was jerkin’ his gherkin
His mother said, “Perkin,
Stop jerkin’ your gherkin -
Your gherkin’s for ferkin’ not jerkin’.”

A thrifty old man named McEwing

tiki god — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 19:17:43 +0000

A thrifty old man named McEwing
Inquired, “Why be bothered with screwing?
It’s safer and cleaner
To finger your wiener,
And besides you can see what you’re doing.”

There once was a man from Beijing

tiki god — Tue, 29 May 2007 18:56:23 +0000

There once was a man from Beijing
Who invented a jack off machine
He put his prick in it
Done a thousand beats a minute
And turned his poor balls to cream

There was a young man from Darjeelin

tiki god — Sat, 19 May 2007 14:48:12 +0000

There was a young man from Darjeelin
who got on a train board for Ealing
it said on the door
don’t come on the floor
so he carefully came on the ceiling

Ã¢â‚¬Å“IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m sick of TchaikovskyÃ¢â‚¬Â, said May

tiki god — Sun, 13 May 2007 02:35:10 +0000

Ã¢â‚¬Å“IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m sick of TchaikovskyÃ¢â‚¬Â, said May,
Ã¢â‚¬Å“And this Handel and Bach that we play.Ã¢â‚¬Â
So she put down her fiddle
And diddled her middle;
Ã¢â‚¬Å“ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s time for Depussy I say.Ã¢â‚¬Â

There was a young fellow called Lloyd

tiki god — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:00:36 +0000

There was a young fellow called Lloyd
Who was frequently under-employed
At his regular job
So he polished his knob
Making customers very annoyed.

A virgin with eyes that were blue

tiki god — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 15:00:51 +0000

A virgin with eyes that were blue,
Was told that it’s sinful to screw.
So she rubbed on her clit,
But swore that she’d quit,
At least in the next year or two.