There was a young Scotchman named Jock
Who had a most horrible shock:
He once took a shit
In a leaf-covered pit,
And the crap sprung a trap on his cock.

Two men from Kuala Lampur
Buggered and fucked the same whore
‘Till the partition it split
And the jism and shit
Rolled out in great mounds on the floor.

A bugger who buggered some sheep
Tried to bugger a ewe in her sleep.
She awoke with a start
And she ripped a great fart.
Now he’s covered in shit three feet deep.

There was a young man from St. Rose
whose love life was so full of woes
he loved sixty-nine
he’d do it all the time
but always got shit on his nose

There was an old pervert from Notts,
Who loved licking young ladies botts;
Whilst rimming one tart,
She passed a wet fart;
And covered his face in brown spots.

There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colourful lack of restraint

There once was a young man who…
laid an extraordinary long poo.
He let out a scream!
Can this be a dream?
That’ll never flush down the loo