There once was a lad from Helsinki
Whose prick was the size of a Twinkie
Said a whore, “For a shilling
I’ll suck out the cream filling,
But we can’t fuck ’cause your thing’s too dinky.”

There once were two men of Cawnpore
Who buggered and fucked the same whore
But the partition split
and the spunk and the shit
Fell out in great lumps on the floor.

…filthiest I know