Were you a more elegant chap,
I’d ask to sit down on your lap
Cross-legg’d, like a swami
For ‘hide the salami’,
But it seems that you’re ill with the clap!

There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
you’ve got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and those fuckers are ‘itchin!”

There was a young Scotchman named Jock
Who had a most horrible shock:
He once took a shit
In a leaf-covered pit,
And the crap sprung a trap on his cock.

There once was a girl from Azores,
Whose cunt was all covered in sores,
the men who got pussed,
were desperate for lust,
and licked up what was left in her drawers.

There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
You got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and the fuckers are itchin’!”

There was a fishmonger called Babs,
Who sold cod, skate, place and dabs;
But she had sex with me,
And caught my VD;
And now she’s a purveyor of crabs.

There was a young girl from Mauritius,
Who said “that last shag was delicious” ….
“But next time you cum”
“Can u cum up me bum”
“Cos that scab on your knob is suspicious!”