A horny young sailor named Clark
picked up a slut in a park.
She was ugly and crude
and a horror when nude,
but she was good for a spell in the dark.

There was a young lady from China
Who mistook for her mouth, her vagina
Her clitoris huge
she covered with rouge
And lipsticked her labia minor

There once was a young barmaid from Wales
On her breasts were written the prices of ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
The prices were tatooed in braille

There was a young lady at sea
Who said ‘Gosh, how it hurts me to pee.’
‘I see,’ said the mate,
‘That accounts for the state
Of the Captain, the purser, and me.’

There once was a man from Winsocket,
Who rode down the street on a rocket.
The force of the blast
blew his balls up his ass,
And his pecker was found in his pocket.

My penis, dear girl, is so small;
It’s the size of an atom, that’s all.
But an atom’s main mission
Is fusion and fission
And BANG!! I shall leave you in thrall.

There was a young man from Montrose
Who had a wet dream I suppose.
The landlady said,
As she changed his bed,
‘This didn’t come out of his nose.’