There once was a man from Bombay
Who raped an ape in the hay.
The result was most horrid,
All asshole and no forehead
Eight balls and a purple toupee!

There once was a man from Belgras
Who had balls made out of glass
On hot sunny days
They focused the sun’s rays
And burned all the hair off his ass

Helen Keller’s pussy grew tight,
Masturbating alone late at night,
She rubbed that hot gland,
With just her left hand,
And silently moaned with her right.

A spiritual healer named Lee
Ducked into the alley to pee
He pissed in the eye
Of this blind homeless guy
Who screamed “Holy shit! I can see!

There once was a girl from Nantucket
whose pussy was big as a bucket
I put my dick in
and said with a grin
I’m gonna need a fence post to fuck it

Said a pretty young whore from Hong Kong
To a long pronged patron named Wong,
“They say my vagina’s
The nicest in China;
Don’t ruin it by doing it wrong.”

There once was a lady named Lucky,
Who used dynamite to give herself fucky.
They found her vagina
in North Carolina,
And one of her tits in Kentucky.