It was tried by the dancer, Di Basle,
Whose cunt was just made for a nozzle.
She said, “I admit
It’s an elegant fit,
But of course it won’t do for the arse ‘ole.”

There was a young man from Rangoon,
Whose farts could be heard to the moon.
When you’d least expect ‘em,
They’d burst from his rectum
With the force of a raging typhoon.

There was a young lassie named Wainright
Who enjoyed the position that a dog might
over her shoulder she found
when she looked around
A whole new meaning for hindsight

There once was a man from Australia,
Who went on a wild bacchanalia.
He buggered a frog,
Two mice, and a dog,
And a bishop in fullest regalia.

There once was an altar boy from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
“The Bishop was quicker,
And thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.”

There once was a girl from Nantucket.
Her boyfriend was about to up-chuck it.
she said with a grin,
wipe that cum from your chin.
I told you it’s my job to suck it!

There was a young fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He’d fart “God Save the Queen,”
And Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.