First of many

A frustrated factory slave
Tried to have sex with a lathe
But his bold penile pup
Was quickly chopped up
And entombed in a cold metal grave.

Screw Ma’lue

There once was a girl named Screw Ma’lue
She went out west to find her fricken best
When she fucked, she fucked for keeps
Laid her victims up in heaps
But in this town named Bad-Ass Crete
There lived a half-assed bastard named Piss-Pot Pete
With snot in his beard and shit on his feet
He had twenty-six pounds of swinging meat
Well Screw Ma’lue had met her fate
Turning back was much to late
Until this date today
Her drawers hang in the town’s cafe

Man from Mars

There was a man from Mars
he had Balls made of Brass
In rough sea weather
they short circuited together
and sparks came out of his Arse

Man named Jim

There once was a man named Jim,
Who downloaded porn on a whim,
He infected his ‘puta
While jerkin’ his shoota,
And turned his brain from bright to dim.

The once was a man from Nantucket…

There once was a man from Nantucket,
who had a dick so long he could suck it.
He’d say with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, ” If my ear was a pussy, I’d fuck it!!!”

Man from Leeds

There was an old man from Leeds
who swallowed a packet of seeds
blades of grass
grew out of his arse
and his bollocks were covered in weeds.

Decisions, Decisions

There once was a lady named Sue,
Who never knew quite what to do.
When presented, by chance
with a man without pants,
“A blow job, or do I just screw?”

There once was a man from Tulare,

There once was a man from Tulare,
Who got chewing gum stuck in his nut hair.
He said I’ll just shave my sack,
Cause it will all right grow back,
Or wax it like a porn star and go bare.

Chewing Gum

There once was a man from Tulare,
Who got chewing gum stuck in his nut hair.
He said I’ll just shave my sack,
Cause it will all right grow back,
Or wax it like a porn star and go bare.

Jane Train

There once was a woman named Jane,
Who often was pulling a train,
When it was shoved in her caboose,
Without any juice,
She screamed and she hollered in pain.

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