A lady while dining at Crewe

A lady while dining at Crewe
Found an elephant’s whang in her stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
And don’t wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too.”

A horny old trapper named Rex

A horny old trapper named Rex
Liked the risks of wild porcupine sex.
By incredible luck
His dick never got stuck,
But his nuts were just pitiful wrecks.

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There once was a girl from New Haven

There once was a girl from New Haven
Whose pubic hair was not shaven.
But missing because
She slept without drawers
Within range of a nest building raven.

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There once was a man from Tahiti

There once was a man from Tahiti
Who went for a swim with his sweetie,
But as he pursued her
A big barracuda
Made off with his masculinity!

There once was a girl from Decatur

There once was a girl from Decatur
Who got laid by a big alligator.
Now, nobody knew
The result of that screw,
Because after he laid her, he ate her.

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There was a young lady of Worcester

There was a young lady of Worcester
Who dreamt that a rooster seduced her.
She woke with a scream,
But ’twas only a dream
A lump in the mattress had goosed her.

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Old mother hubbard

Old mother hubbard
went to the cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone
but when she bent over
rover took over
and gave a bone of her own!

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A bugger who buggered some sheep

A bugger who buggered some sheep
Tried to bugger a ewe in her sleep.
She awoke with a start
And she ripped a great fart.
Now he’s covered in shit three feet deep.

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There was a young maid from Madras

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think,
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass!

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Old Charlie, a jolly old bloke

Old Charlie, a jolly old bloke
Made love to a cow as a joke
He found pleasure divine
With this friendly bovine
Now they call him the old cowpoke!

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