Were you a more elegant chap

Were you a more elegant chap,
I’d ask to sit down on your lap
Cross-legg’d, like a swami
For ‘hide the salami’,
But it seems that you’re ill with the clap!

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There once was a girl from Mitchen

There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
you’ve got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and those fuckers are ‘itchin!”

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There was a young Scotchman named Jock

There was a young Scotchman named Jock
Who had a most horrible shock:
He once took a shit
In a leaf-covered pit,
And the crap sprung a trap on his cock.

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There once was a girl from Azores

There once was a girl from Azores,
Whose cunt was all covered in sores,
the men who got pussed,
were desperate for lust,
and licked up what was left in her drawers.

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There once was a girl from Mitchen

There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
You got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and the fuckers are itchin’!”

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There was a fishmonger called Babs,

There was a fishmonger called Babs,
Who sold cod, skate, place and dabs;
But she had sex with me,
And caught my VD;
And now she’s a purveyor of crabs.

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There was a young girl from Mauritius

There was a young girl from Mauritius,
Who said “that last shag was delicious!”
“But next time you cum”
“Can u cum up me bum”
“Cos that scab on your knob is suspicious!”

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There was a young girl of the Azores

There was a young girl of the Azores
Whose cunt was covered in sores
The dogs in the street
Wouldn’t eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers

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A worried young man from Stamboul

A worried young man from Stamboul
Founds lots of red spots on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
“Get out of my clinic;
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!”

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