Instead of going to Miami
Stay at home in your jammi
Spring breaker and beer
Ain’t welcome here
If you come, you might end up in the slammy
Category: Original Content
Philly fans got their wieners in a twist
Philly fans got their wieners in a twist
Grabbing them by the fist
They threw their meat
From their seat
And now $1 meals will be missed
Florida is a zoo
Florida is a zoo
Just look at this ‘roo
he had to bounce
had a cop to trounce
Back to jail, it’s true
Nevada says no thanks
Nevada says no thanks
As Nikki Haley tanks
In a contest with “no one”
She couldn’t have won
Poor lady is shooting blanks
Some might call it a fake
Some might call it a fake
But a breath the police did take
When they found
A bomb around
In a garage by a rake
If you feed the need
If you feed the need
For over the limit speed
Maybe don’t post
and try to boast
Or you’ll need to plead
If you’re at school
If you’re at school
Vapin’ cause you’re cool
and you’re the type
to hit the pipe
these charges will make you drool
Usually reserved for Taco Bell
Usually reserved for Taco Bell
This bathroom from hell
Covered in shit
Gave him a fit
Who thinks this lawsuit is legit?
Poor baby Ron
Poor baby Ron
Got another quote wrong
He tried his very best
but when put to the test
Sounded like he hit the bong
Everyone tries to be funny
Everyone tries to be funny
or cute as a bunny
These confusing signs
are breaking minds
and wasting a ton of money
Imagine you’re a Bear
Imagine you’re a Bear,
Asking to be treated fair.
Trying to be at peace,
Becoming obese.
And all they do is stare.
Built before they were born
Built before they were born
These maintainers are sworn
To mind the stock
of the nuclear clock
And prepare our atomic thorn
They made a hole in the wall
They made a hole in the wall
Thought it would be small
But it was too big
Now they’re in the brig
Likely trying to not bawl
To be a cop they’re not willing
To be a cop they’re not willing
When told to stop stealing
They say it’s about pay
But there’s no way
It’s about no more killing
New York was high as fuck
New York was high as fuck
with attendees trying to duck
There’s is no hope
To avoid the dope
Straight Edge? no luck!
Idalia is hitting the coast
Idalia is hitting the coast
Trying to do it’s most
It wants to kill
and give us a thrill
“We will survive” we can boast.
Florida man at night
Florida man at night
Didn’t seem so bright
Cops felt his dick
he said it was a trick
Should have turned on his light
Favorite This!A cat up a stick
A cat up a stick
Put on a great trick
sat for a day
till he felt ok
Then came down like a prick
Favorite This!Teachers scrambled for a dollar
Teachers scrambled for a dollar
Made the internet holler
we should give a fuck
what they did for a buck
And to not live in squalor
Favorite This!These residents had an odd guest
These residents had an odd guest
One some might even call a pest
Crawled out from the drain
The one meant for rain
Was a gator who looked a bit stressed
Favorite This!These painters were doing their work
These painters were doing their work
A homeowner, this did quite irk
Cut the rope knife
Which threatened their life
Who does this shit? What a jerk!
Favorite This!The Trumpies, they think themselves smart
The Trumpies, they think themselves smart
A new saying, they wanted to start
“Let’s go Brandon,” they yell
But the message they sell
“Fuck Joe Biden” is at the heart
Favorite This!On her costume, she did her best
On her costume, she did her best
But was threatened with arrest
Construction was planned
And she took a stand
‘Cause technically it was protest
Favorite This!“It’s fucking gone?” Jimmy cussed
“It’s fucking gone?” Jimmy cussed
He didn’t know who to trust
Just when he thought
No one would be caught
Someone returned the lost bust
Favorite This!These Georgians are getting freaked
These Georgians are getting freaked
Some even yelled and some shrieked
The Joro Spider
Must be a boat rider
As over from Asia they sneaked
Favorite This!A man from PA’s on defense
A man from PA’s on defense
After his tiny offense
He bought Mountain Dew
And then bid adieu
But was short by 43 cents
Favorite This!He took money he wasn’t due
He took money he wasn’t due
So nights in jail, he spent a few
But he ran the joint
So he made a point
To leave a nice, five-star review
Favorite This!This call must have been a headache
This call must have been a headache
Considering his health was at stake
Knew it’d be a battle
When he heard the rattle
Hours later he pulled the last snake
Favorite This!Dandeo had entered the race
Dandeo had entered the race
And buckled in tight just in case
He zipped and he zoomed
The others were doomed
At 86, he won first place
Favorite This!Goto had just won the gold
Goto had just won the gold
And the mayor had wanted to hold
The winning medal
But had to backpedal
For biting it like a five-year-old
Favorite This!This man was headed to a cell
This man was headed to a cell
But cops saw that he wasn’t well
Saw something in the man
Through the body scan
They found a shotgun shell
Favorite This!Off to the links, he grabbed his sticks
Off to the links, he grabbed his sticks
Then Smith got caught up with some dicks
Did not shoot his best
And stepped on a nest
Where hornets gave him some pricks
Favorite This!The shore line has covered the docks
The shore line has covered the docks
And the water is wetting the rocks
But some need to eat
And don’t care their feet
Are soaked on up to their socks
Favorite This!In the world, there are only a few
In the world, there are only a few
One living at New Orlean’s zoo
She went on a date
And found a nice mate
Now Menari is pregnant with two
Favorite This!Winther had some golf balls to hit
Winther had some golf balls to hit
But first, he had to take a shit
Hit the bathroom before
Then went for the door
But locked himself in for a bit
Favorite This!Some collectors, they choose to own
Some collectors, they choose to own
Comic books, old pornos, or cologne
Some of these buyer’s
Collection requires
Guns and things used by Capone
Favorite This!Some workers think they deserve
Some workers think they deserve
A liveable wage, oh the nerve!
At Michigan State
Hungry patrons must wait
Unless teachers step up to serve
Favorite This!This woman must have been deprived
This woman must have been deprived
And thought of a plan quite contrived
She changed the locks
Then kicked off her socks
And chilled before the cops arrived
Favorite This!Spencer Tunick flew to the Dead Sea
Spencer Tunick flew to the Dead Sea
With his camera for a shooting spree
This vision he had
Was not at all clad
You can see from where the subjects pee
Favorite This!Pioneers of aviation
Pioneers of aviation
An important duo of for our nation
Their strides were quite great
So they made a plate
But fucked up the orientation
Favorite This!A handful of Maine license plates
A handful of Maine license plates
Have words you’d just say to your mates
Like shit, piss, or fuck
Some are out of luck
As reviews of these tags awaits
Favorite This!This poor pup fell into a crack
This poor pup fell into a crack
Where food and water did lack
Then five days passed
Now’s free at last
Safe at home now, she is back
Favorite This!Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed
Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed
As they’re shouting and shaking their fist
Hubbell kept scoring
Which got the crowd roaring
They sucked, how could he resist?
Favorite This!A Munich man was flying back
A Munich man was flying back
Traveling with only his rucksack
Was it just dumb luck,
Or’s he a dim fuck?
‘Cause it looked like he planned to attack
Favorite This!In the small town of Krefeld
In the small town of Krefeld
And ostrich chick is being held
They have no clue
If it fled the zoo
Or from someone’s house was expelled
Favorite This!Some people are born trans or gay
Some people are born trans or gay
This school showed that is okay
They waved their pride flag
As they dressed in drag
Then made the field into a runway
Favorite This!This Liberian teen is the man
This Liberian teen is the man
Doing something not everyone can
Out driving one day
He found 50k
Returning it was just part of his plan
Favorite This!Some people like baking cakes
Some people like baking cakes
Or fixing car tires and brakes
This dude from LV
Gets his own glee
By caring for 30 fucking snakes
Favorite This!An attraction in London was new
An attraction in London was new
That claimed to have a great view
But by the time
They finished their climb
Most thought the attraction was poo
Favorite This!Lost his stash and he had to mourn
Lost his stash and he had to mourn
“I’ll get you for this” he had sworn
His parents dumped it
And he lost his shit
Thirty thousand for all of that porn
Favorite This!