There once was a man from Norway
Got his balls stuck in the doorway
As he greased up his sack
e yelled out “Stand back!
“This is just a part of my foreplay.”
Pick-Me-Up
If you find yourself wanting to cry
And life feels like waiting to die
You don’t need hugs
You just need drugs
Try smack and Prozac to get by
Slip sliding
There once was a guy named Bob
Who slipped and fell on a glob
He broke a dish and a ceramic fish
But what can you expect from a slob
There was an old lady from Woodle
There was an old lady from Woodle
Who had an affair with a noodle.
“It reminds me so much”
“Of my late husband’s touch”
“And it’s four times as big as his doodle”
Cats are the best
To those who have not had a cat
I tell you it is “all that”
They shit and they piss
They claw and they hiss
Then eat their own hair ‘till they yak
Sci-if space action! Now with slant rhyme!
There was a space pirate called Baldrick
Who had a first mate that was called Rick
They plundered from Mars
To far away stars
And caught every disease in the quadrant
Oh how styles have changed
They used to call me a geek
Thick glasses, mussed hair, and arms weak
My style’s the same
But now people say
“Damn, that boy is on fleek!”
Susan
I once knew a woman named Susan
Whom I found very amusin’
Her hands they would dance
To that place in her pants
Self control she soon would be losin’
You wouldn’t want to ruin it
A lovely young lass named Gordini
Went to the pool in her bikini
But once she got there
She stripped and swam bare
To keep it from smelling chlorine-y