I rode bikes with a girl on some gravel
hen my pants came completely unraveled
She took one look at my cock
And said with a shock,
“My God, that’s eight inches of travel!”
NSFW
There was an old man from Glen green,
Who invented a wanking machine,
On the 99th stroke,
The bloody thing broke,
And mashed his balls to a cream.
Hope this is original!
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who’s dick was so long he could suck it.
He got very rich.
Sucking dick on twitch.
But who wants to taste their own bit?
In a restroom I thought me alone
In a restroom I thought me alone
As I saddled my ass to the throne
Yet the next stall hid
The man I assaulted
With blasts from my backside trombone
A Whole Body Workout
A female gym coach from Connecticut
Would often breech proper gym etiquette
For she would discard
Her gym leotard
The moment she started to sweat a bit
Maybe she gets off with a warning?
My neighbor two doors to the right
Jogs nude down our street every night
I asked, “Don’t they jail you?
Cops must often nail you.”
To which she smirked, “No — and yes, quite.”
Traditional verse
A newlywed tenant named Dowd
Complained to his landlord aloud,
“While I’ve ploughed and dressed
Your fields without rest,
My bride rests, undressed and unploughed!”
Is it cold in here?
When Annie goes grocery store shoppin’
And wears just a thin summer top in
The stock boys all race to
The frozen-food case to
Observe Annie’s temperature droppin’
The burdens of piety
There once was a young man from Kent
Who gave up fornication for Lent
But a full month alone
With just him and his bone
Had left it irreparably bent
I’m just an average guy
I’m just an average guy
I’ll work and I’ll eat and I’ll die
I like to have fun
But mostly have none
So I sit at my desk and I cry