the Duchess at tea

I sat by the Duchess at tea
And she asked: “Do you fart when you pee?”
I said with some wit:
“Do you belch when you shit?”
And I felt it was one-up for me.

There was a young Rabbi from peru

There was a young Rabbi from peru,
Who was vainly attempting to screw,
His wife said “Oi vey”,
If you keep up this way,
The Messiah will come before you do.

There once was a singer named Elton

There once was a singer named Elton
who had the girls hearts all a’meltin’.
But soon they discovered
he was a man lover;
twas dicks he’d rather be feltin’.

I see by the size of your member

I see by the size of your member
You’re as hot as a blazing coal ember!
So slicken that mast –
And hon, make it fast –
This girl’s not been poked since December!

There was a young girl of Angina

There was a young girl of Angina
Who stretched catgut across her vagina.
From the love-making frock
(With the proper sized cock)
Came Toccata and Fugue in D minor.

There once was a young man named Gene

There once was a young man named Gene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.

There was a Young Man from Kent

There was a Young Man from Kent
Whose Rod was so long it bent.
So to save himself trouble
He bent it in double,
And instead of coming, he went!

There once was a lady Annheiuser

There once was a lady Annheiuser
Who claimed that no man could surprise her
But Pabst took a chance
found a Schlitz in his pants
and now, she is sadder… Budweiser

There was a young girl from Hong Kong

There was a young girl from Hong Kong
Whose cervical cap was a gong.
She said with a yell,
As a shot rang her bell,
“I’ll give you a ding for a dong!”