From their reserve, the elephants fled
300 miles, each other they’ve led
Being up to 5 tons
They are quite big ones
Thankfully no one’s has ended up dead
His car had maxed out his speed
His car had maxed out his speed
So he got stopped for his deed
During the infraction
He jumped into action
And saved him from choking on weed
In Europe, tensions did boil
In Europe, tensions did boil
So lawyers began to toil
Two chocolate hares
‘Swhat caused the affairs
And all of it over gold foil
Twitter really tried to stay cool
Twitter really tried to stay cool
By giving their users a new tool
It wasn’t desired
And Promptly backfired
If you use it you’re a fucking fool
She needed exposure, hands-on
She needed exposure, hands-on
So he gave her an apron to don
Fifteen years she stayed
Then offered a trade
A buck for the whole damn salon
Customs located a stash
Customs located a stash
Of eyelash after eyelash
But the FDA
Did have their say
And think they could cause quite a rash
Most birds gather pebbles and sticks
Most birds gather pebbles and sticks
And munch on some worms or some ticks
But before the flock split
They fucked up her shit
Who knew condors could be such dicks
In Florida, the pigeons did roam
In Florida, the pigeons did roam
Looking for their home sweet home
Landed on the highway
Decided they’re stray
Now eating trash and styrofoam
They thought they were quite clever folk
They thought they were quite clever folk
But now they’re just in jail and broke
They surely paid
For the cake they made
Their sweet treat was actually coke
A man from Wyoming got high
A man from Wyoming got high
On a substance he wanted to try
Then he called the cops
So they sent in their ops
Now to meth, he’ll have to say “bye”