There once was a slut from peru
Who filled her vagina with glue
she said with a grin
“If you pay to get in
then you pay to get out again too!”
Keep it Dirty!
There once was a slut from peru
Who filled her vagina with glue
she said with a grin
“If you pay to get in
then you pay to get out again too!”
There once was a harlot name Sumi
Whose pussy was not very roomy
Because of this
She was a popular Miss
And never once drove clients loony!
There once was a man named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
she had only one tit,
and smelled worse than shit,
but think of the money Dave saved.
There was an old girl from Kilkenny,
Whose usual charge was a penny.
But for half of that sum
You could roger her bum
A source of amusement for many.
There once was a lad from Helsinki
Whose prick was the size of a Twinkie
Said a whore, “For a shilling
I’ll suck out the cream filling,
But we can’t fuck ’cause your thing’s too dinky.”
There once were two men of Cawnpore
Who buggered and fucked the same whore
But the partition split
and the spunk and the shit
Fell out in great lumps on the floor.
…filthiest I know
There was a young sailor called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
It took him some pluck
To have a cold fuck
But think of the money he saved!
“I have found,” sighed a hooker named Hickel,
“That Chinese Johns are kinky and fickle.
They screw me, then beat,
And hungrily eat me –
And the worst is those chopsticks sure tickle!
She’s easily pleased is young Mandy;
You just have to offer her candy,
Then down on all fours
She’ll say, “Take me! I’m yours!”
You should see what she does for a brandy!
There once was a hussy so brazen
On each breast a red bull-eye she’d blazon
A lusty outsider
With mercurochrome dyed her
And shriveled her up like a raisin.
A businesslike harlot named Draper
once tried an unusual caper.
What made it so nice
was you got it half-price
if you brought in her ad from the paper.
A horny young sailor named Clark
picked up a slut in a park.
She was ugly and crude
and a horror when nude,
but she was good for a spell in the dark.
Said a pretty young whore from Hong Kong
To a long pronged patron named Wong,
“They say my vagina,
The nicest in China;
Don’t ruin it by doing it wrong.”
There was a hooker from Honchu
Who on peckers and penises did chew.
Said a friend, “Why don’t you
Have them stick it to you,
Then you could enjoy the sex too.”