On Cape Cod, a house grand and planned

On Cape Cod, a house grand and planned,
Was built on unstable loose sand.
The wind and the sea,
Said, “This won’t ever be!”
Now it sinks, as it can’t hope to stand.

In Pennsylvania, a crime quite egg-streme

In Pennsylvania, a crime quite egg-streme,
A heist of eggs—like a yolky dream.
Police try to crack,
But clues they still lack,
It’s an egg-sistential mystery, it would seem!

A falconer working for Lazio’s crest

A falconer working for Lazio’s crest,
Posted photos that weren’t his best.
An implant, you see,
Caused much publicity,
So they fired him—Lazio’s stressed!

Four monkeys who’d long been astray

Four monkeys who’d long been astray,
In South Carolina did play.
For months they ran free,
Climbing every tall tree,
‘Til at last they were caught yesterday!

In Scotland, a curious stand

In Scotland, a curious stand,
“No bans on our cats,” they’ve planned.
With a flick of their tails,
Through the Highlands they sail,
Forever to roam through the land!

There once was a leader-to-be

There once was a leader-to-be,
Whose ties caused a scandalous spree.
“Collusion!” they cried,
Yet she still turned the tide,
Now she heads up the famed intel tree.

In the halls where the bureaucrats roam

In the halls where the bureaucrats roam,
Twenty thousand have chosen to roam.
With a buyout in hand,
They have left their command,
Leaving desks in the government home.

Some fools made a choice in a flash

Some fools made a choice in a flash,
Which led to a market-wide crash.
They tripped in their haste,
Their money laid waste,
Then stepped into dog shit—what trash!

There once was a man in D.C.

There once was a man in D.C.,
Who taxed goods from land and the sea.
He spared China some strain,
Said, “You’ll all feel the pain,”
While his fortune kept him carefree!

There once was a man named Musk,

There once was a man named Musk,
Whose power spread thick as dusk.
He bought up the sky, the roads, oh my!
Now laws bend to his every tusk.

But hope still remains in the fight,
A plumber will set things aright.
With a jump and a “Wahoo!”—Elon is through,
Luigi will ghost-bust the blight!