With this couple now no longer alone

With this couple now no longer alone

They decided to pick up the phone

The firemen came

What they saw, they did claim

In the chimney, a bunch of birds had all flown

They promised to meet in a field

They promised to meet in a field

Equipped with a sword and a shield

Many Joshes contended

But soon the fight ended

So the fate of the best Josh was sealed

In Israel, twas a bit of a spill

In Israel, twas a bit of a spill

Killing things like turtles and krill

But the vets, they had found

That the mayo went down

Clearin’ oil much better than a pill

This proves congress is filled with dumb cunts

This proves congress is filled with dumb cunts

Instead of work, they pull these kinds of stunts

All this effort just to

Push this bill through

So rednecks can start their Bigfoot hunts

A young lad misread the signs

A young lad misread the signs
After reading the head lines
“In search of hot pussy?”
“I fuck all I see!”
Just don’t touch the felines

By the snake, the man was enticed

By the snake, the man was enticed

But 300 bucks was just overpriced

Pet in hand, he took off

The fucking jerk-off

But stealing a boa is such a lame heist

The monolith thing’s overdone

The monolith thing’s overdone

But this one was so much more fun

The towering sugar and Crisco

Appeared in San Francisco

And the gingerbread baked in the sun

They are here and one day they’re gone

They are here and one day they’re gone

In the mountains or on someone’s lawn

But these assholes are taking

These things that are making

Us forget that this year’s just dragged on

Remember that thing that was gray?

Remember that thing that was gray?

The metal that was on display?

The tall shiny prong

It didn’t last long

Assholes came and they took it away

This year has been so surreal

This year has been so surreal

Life has lost much of it’s zeal

But someone out there

Thought joy, they would share

With a big, shiny hunk of some steel