With this couple now no longer alone
They decided to pick up the phone
The firemen came
What they saw, they did claim
In the chimney, a bunch of birds had all flown
Keep it Dirty!
With this couple now no longer alone
They decided to pick up the phone
The firemen came
What they saw, they did claim
In the chimney, a bunch of birds had all flown
They promised to meet in a field
Equipped with a sword and a shield
Many Joshes contended
But soon the fight ended
So the fate of the best Josh was sealed
In Israel, twas a bit of a spill
Killing things like turtles and krill
But the vets, they had found
That the mayo went down
Clearin’ oil much better than a pill
This proves congress is filled with dumb cunts
Instead of work, they pull these kinds of stunts
All this effort just to
Push this bill through
So rednecks can start their Bigfoot hunts
A young lad misread the signs
After reading the head lines
“In search of hot pussy?”
“I fuck all I see!”
Just don’t touch the felines
In their mouths, McDonald’s, some cram
The burgers I get, but hot damn
This one’s unreal,
Who’d try this meal
With oreo’s, mayo, and spam?
By the snake, the man was enticed
But 300 bucks was just overpriced
Pet in hand, he took off
The fucking jerk-off
But stealing a boa is such a lame heist
The monolith thing’s overdone
But this one was so much more fun
The towering sugar and Crisco
Appeared in San Francisco
And the gingerbread baked in the sun
They are here and one day they’re gone
In the mountains or on someone’s lawn
But these assholes are taking
These things that are making
Us forget that this year’s just dragged on
Remember that thing that was gray?
The metal that was on display?
The tall shiny prong
It didn’t last long
Assholes came and they took it away
This year has been so surreal
Life has lost much of it’s zeal
But someone out there
Thought joy, they would share
With a big, shiny hunk of some steel