In Scotland, a curious stand

In Scotland, a curious stand,
“No bans on our cats,” they’ve planned.
With a flick of their tails,
Through the Highlands they sail,
Forever to roam through the land!

In Vermont, there’s a cat with allure,

In Vermont, there’s a cat with allure,
Max, now dubbed a ‘doctor’ for sure,
From the University, he’s adorned,
In litter-ature, he’s truly adorned,
Pawsitively wise, his knowledge pure!

A cat up a stick

A cat up a stick

Put on a great trick

sat for a day

till he felt ok

Then came down like a prick

With the building aflame and on fire

With the building aflame and on fire

Thought he’d better flee from the pyre

With a leap and a bound 

He made it to the ground

It just wasn’t his time to retire

No one knew if Brandy was alive

No one knew if Brandy was alive

15 years, no one’d thought she’d survive

I’m sure she’d come home

From her lengthy roam

Maybe waiting until she could drive

Some go to court for this or for that

Some go to court for this or for that

Like speeding or parking or stealing a hat

But if you act polite

They’ll think you’re alright

But you’re fucked if your lawyer on Zoom is a cat

The blaze took their home, the poor cats

The blaze took their home, the poor cats

No place to hang their sweaters or hats

They’ve begun to inquire

On what started the fire

But suspecting it coulda been rats

A young lad misread the signs

A young lad misread the signs
After reading the head lines
“In search of hot pussy?”
“I fuck all I see!”
Just don’t touch the felines

There once was a feline named Marty

There once was a feline named Marty

A weather fanatic, a smarty

He can no longer assist

And’ll be greatly missed

But he’ll always been in our heart-y

The pastor and the cat

There was a kind pastor I knew,

Who kept a large cat in a pew.

There he taught it each week

A new letter of Greek,

But it never got further than mu.

Cats are the best

To those who have not had a cat
I tell you it is “all that”
They shit and they piss
They claw and they hiss
Then eat their own hair ‘till they yak

Said Siegfried to Roy at the zoo

Said Siegfried to Roy at the zoo,
Be careful in all that you do,
Keep those lions at bay,
Or it will, I must say,
Be the first time a pussy ate you!