The crab must have come from the shore-y

The crab must have come from the shore-y

Who knew it’d cause such an uproar-y

Yet it still made the news

Really quite the snooze

But the ones in her pubes, a different story

The woman from the Azores

There once was a a girl from the Azores
Whose gash was covered in sores
All the dogs in the street
They would eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers

Sci-if space action! Now with slant rhyme!

There was a space pirate called Baldrick
Who had a first mate that was called Rick
They plundered from Mars
To far away stars
And caught every disease in the quadrant

Were you a more elegant chap

Were you a more elegant chap,
I’d ask to sit down on your lap
Cross-legg’d, like a swami
For ‘hide the salami’,
But it seems that you’re ill with the clap!

There once was a girl from Mitchen

There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
you’ve got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and those fuckers are ‘itchin!”

There was a young Scotchman named Jock

There was a young Scotchman named Jock
Who had a most horrible shock:
He once took a shit
In a leaf-covered pit,
And the crap sprung a trap on his cock.

Ode to Janie and Joe

There once was a chick from Apache Junction

Whose herpes was so bad she could hardly function

Her boyfriend was Joe

And he called her a ho’

When he learned of his own infection.

There once was a girl from Azores

There once was a girl from Azores,
Whose cunt was all covered in sores,
the men who got pussed,
were desperate for lust,
and licked up what was left in her drawers.

There once was a girl from Mitchen

There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
You got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and the fuckers are itchin’!”

There was a fishmonger called Babs,

There was a fishmonger called Babs,
Who sold cod, skate, place and dabs;
But she had sex with me,
And caught my VD;
And now she’s a purveyor of crabs.

There was a young girl from Mauritius

There was a young girl from Mauritius,
Who said “that last shag was delicious!”
“But next time you cum”
“Can u cum up me bum”
“Cos that scab on your knob is suspicious!”

There was a young lady named Myrtle

There was a young lady named Myrtle
Who had an affair with a turtle,
She had crabs, so they say,
In a year and a day,
Which proves that the turtle was fertile.

There was a young girl of the Azores

There was a young girl of the Azores
Whose cunt was covered in sores
The dogs in the street
Wouldn’t eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers

A worried young man from Stamboul

A worried young man from Stamboul
Founds lots of red spots on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
“Get out of my clinic;
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!”

There was a young lady at sea

There was a young lady at sea
Who said “Gosh, how it hurts me to pee.”
“I see,” said the mate,
“That accounts for the state
Of the Captain, the purser, and me.”