The crab must have come from the shore-y

The crab must have come from the shore-y

Who knew it’d cause such an uproar-y

Yet it still made the news

Really quite the snooze

But the ones in her pubes, a different story


Inspired by this news story
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The Ballad of Bob and Lydia

The Ballad of Bob and Lydia from limericks
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The woman from the Azores

The woman from the Azores from limericks
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Sci-if space action! Now with slant rhyme!

Sci-if space action! Now with slant rhyme! from limericks
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Were you a more elegant chap

Were you a more elegant chap,
I’d ask to sit down on your lap
Cross-legg’d, like a swami
For ‘hide the salami’,
But it seems that you’re ill with the clap!

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There once was a girl from Mitchen

There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
you’ve got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and those fuckers are ‘itchin!”

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There was a young Scotchman named Jock

There was a young Scotchman named Jock
Who had a most horrible shock:
He once took a shit
In a leaf-covered pit,
And the crap sprung a trap on his cock.

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Ode to Janie and Joe

There once was a chick from Apache Junction

Whose herpes was so bad she could hardly function

Her boyfriend was Joe

And he called her a ho’

When he learned of his own infection.

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There once was a girl from Azores

There once was a girl from Azores,
Whose cunt was all covered in sores,
the men who got pussed,
were desperate for lust,
and licked up what was left in her drawers.

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There once was a girl from Mitchen

There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
You got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and the fuckers are itchin’!”

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