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Were you a more elegant chap

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Were you a more elegant chap,
I’d ask to sit down on your lap
Cross-legg’d, like a swami
For ‘hide the salami’,
But it seems that you’re ill with the clap!

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There once was a girl from Mitchen

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There once was a girl from Mitchen
Who was scratching her twat in the kitchen.
Her mother said, “Rose,
you’ve got crabs I suppose.”
She said, “Yes and those fuckers are ‘itchin!”

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Ode to Janie and Joe

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There once was a chick from Apache Junction

Whose herpes was so bad she could hardly function

Her boyfriend was Joe

And he called her a ho’

When he learned of his own infection.

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