There was a young lady from Bath
Who wasn’t very good at math
She had sex under a tree
later said “Woe is me”
1 plus 1 isn’t 2, it equals 3

A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she’d “just take a chance.”
She let herself go
For an hour or so
And now all her sisters are aunts.

There once was a lady from Thrace,
Who’s corset no longer would lace,
Her mother said “Nellie,
There’s more in your belly,
Than ever went in through your face.”

There was a young man from Cape Horn
who wished he had never been born
He wouldn’t have been
If his father had seen
That the end of his condom was torn!

Said a horny young girl from Milpitas,
“My favorite sport is coitus.”
But a fullback from State
Made her period late,
And now she has athlete’s fetus.

There once was a man from Rangoon
Who was born nine months too soon.
He didn’t have the luck

to be born by a fuck
He was scraped off the sheets with a spoon!

There was a young lady named Myrtle
Who had an affair with a turtle,
She had crabs, so they say,
In a year and a day,
Which proves that the turtle was fertile.

There once was a man from Siberia
Whose morals were really inferior
He did to a nun,
What he shouldn’t have done
And now she’s a mother superior

“I’ve some great news for you, Mrs. Smith.”
Her pregnancy showed to Doc Prith.
“It’s not a Mrs., you know.
I divorced long ago.”
“Then I’ve some bad news now, Miss Smith…”