A chameleon can blend in with rocks,
With trees, and plants with green stalks
But this little guy
Is quite the small fry
But is bigger than most Trumpers cocks
Tag: Penis Size
A lady while dining at Crewe
A lady while dining at Crewe
Found an elephant’s whang in her stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
And don’t wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too.”
strange science
A mathematician named Hall
Had a hexahedronical ball
The square of its weight
Times his pecker plus eight
Was two-thirds of three-fifths of fuck-all
I see by the size of your member
I see by the size of your member
You’re as hot as a blazing coal ember!
So slicken that mast –
And hon, make it fast –
This girl’s not been poked since December!
A decent young fellow named Herm
A decent young fellow named Herm
Was equipped with a geyser-like worm:
The size wasn’t much
But its volume was such
That his lovers did backstroke in sperm.
There once was a man from Sydney
There once was a man from Sydney
Who could put it in up to her Kidney
But a man from Quebec
Put it up to her neck
Now he had a big one, didn’t he!
There once was a man from Australia
There once was a man from Australia
Who had extra-large genitalia
He said to his bride,
Don’t try to hide
‘Cause wherever you go I can nail ya’
There was a man from Havana
There was a man from Havana,
Who thought he could play the piana.
His fingers slipped,
his zipper unzipped.
And out came a hairy banana!
There was a young woman named Jeannie
There was a young woman named Jeannie
Who sobbed to her date, “You’re a meanie!
You claim you’re a stud
But, oh, what a dud!
Your prick is a real teeny-weeny.”
His dick lay in peaceful quiescence
His dick lay in peaceful quiescence,
He longed though for youthful tumescence.
An electric connection,
Sparked a brilliant erection,
That shines with an awesome florescence!
There once was a gay opera singer
There once was a gay opera singer,
Whose dick was a wondrous humdinger.
When he’d sing a song,
His dong sang along,
And his balls would clang like a bell ringer.
There once was a man from Tahiti
There once was a man from Tahiti
Who went for a swim with his sweetie,
But as he pursued her
A big barracuda
Made off with his masculinity!
There once was a man from Berlin
There once was a man from Berlin
Whose pecker hung down to his shin.
When a lady named Gert
Started lifting her skirt,
His prick rose with a thump to his chin.
There once was a grown man named Roy
There once was a grown man named Roy,
Who as a young innocent boy,
Discovered his peter,
And thought it much neater,
Than books or a game or a toy.
The last time I dined with the King
The last time I dined with the King
He did quite a curious thing.
He sat on a stool
And took out his tool
And said, “If I play will you sing?”
There was a young lady from Exeter
There was a young lady from Exeter
So pretty the men strained their necks at her
But one was so brave
To pull out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.
There was a young man named McAmiter
There was a young man named McAmiter
Who had a tool of prodigious diameter.
What gave the girls surprise
Was not his size,
But his rhythm, iambic pentameter.
There was a young athlete named Grimmon
There was a young athlete named Grimmon
Who developed a new way of swimmin’.
By a marvelous trick
He would scull with his prick,
Which attracted loud cheers from the women.
Sweet Mary the Celibate
Sweet Mary wanted to stay celibate
for a man with wealth and intelligence
She ran from the alter
For balls like Gibraltar
On a dimwit hung like an elephant
A mathematician named Hall
A mathematician named Hall
Has a hexahedronical ball,
And the cube of its weight
Times his pecker’s, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call..
There was a young man of Devises,
There was a young man of Devises,
Whose balls were of different sizes.
His tool when at ease,
Hung down to his knees,
Oh, what must it be when it rises!
A bold cowboy from Laredo
A bold cowboy from Laredo
Had a member shaped like a potato.
While some girls would faint,
Others thought it was quaint
To use a potato to mate…OH!!!
A young man named O’Doul
A young man named Marty O’Doul
Found a red ring on his tool.
He went to the clinic,
Said the doctor, a cynic,
Wash it off, its only lipstick, you fool!
Shirley Brown thought it a fable
Shirley Brown thought it a fable
That everyone must have a navel,
For she had a yard
Of unbilical cord
She kept hidden beneath the table.
There once was a man named McSweeny
There once was a man named McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be Couth
He added some Vermouth
And slipped his chick a Martini!
There once was pervert named Manny
There once was pervert named Manny
who stuck his long prick up his fanny.
Oh! What’s this shouting about?
Seems he can’t get it out.
He can’t shit, he can’t piss. It’s uncanny!
That wily old pervert St. Nick
That wily old pervert St. Nick
Made good use of the curve to his dick
He glazed the whole shaft
Painted stripes, then he laughed
As he offered young ladies a lick
Man From Trent
There once was a man fron Trent,
Whose dick was so long is was bent,
To save his wife some trouble,
He bent it in double,
And when he came he went
A lady while dining at Crewe
A lady while dining at Crewe
Found an elephant’s whang in her stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
And don’t wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too.”
There were three young maidens of twickenham,
There were three young maidens of twickenham,
Who wanted Tom, Harry, and Dick in ’em,
They prayed hard to Venus
Saying, “Surely, between us”,
We can lengthen, and strengthen, and thicken’em
A young man whose sight was myopic
A young man whose sight was myopic
Thought sex an incredible topic.
So poor were his eyes,
That despite its great size,
His penis appeared microscopic.
There once was a lad from Helsinki
There once was a lad from Helsinki
Whose prick was the size of a Twinkie
Said a whore, “For a shilling
I’ll suck out the cream filling,
But we can’t fuck ’cause your thing’s too dinky.”
there once was a genie
there once was a genie
with a ten foot weenie
so he showed it to the lady next door,
she thought it was a snake
and cut it with a rake
and now its only five-foot-four
There was a young lady from Kew
There was a young lady from Kew
Who said, as the bishop withdrew,
Oh, the Vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker
And four inches longer than you.
There once was a monk from Kerplunks
There once was a monk from Kerplunks
Whose body was that of a hunk’s
The nuns all went woozy
when he stepped into the jacuzzi
For the monk had forgotten his trunks.
There once was an altar boy from Crewe
There once was an altar boy from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
“The Bishop was quicker,
And thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.”
There was once a man from Kent
There was once a man from Kent
Whose tool was so long that it bent
To save him the trouble
He put it in the double
And instead of coming he went.
She started to fondle and grope
She started to fondle and grope
“My god! It’s so huge! I can’t cope!
It’s ENORMOUS”, she cried.
And he laughed and replied,
That’s my leg you’ve got hold of, you dope.”
A newlywed bride, Mrs. Young
A newlywed bride, Mrs. Young
asked the doctor to fix her torn lung.
When asked how it ripped
she replied as she stripped,
“That man I married is hung.”
There was an old fellow named Paul
There was an old fellow named Paul
Whose prick was exceedingly small
When in bed with a lay
He could screw her all day
Without touching the vaginal wall.
There was a young man from ‘Arrow
There was a young man from Barrow
Whose tool was like a vegetable marrow.
He said to his tart,
“Take this for a start,
And me balls will be along in a barrow.”
Two guys at a condom convention
Two guys at a condom convention
Attracted a lot of attention.
“s dong is the bigger?
“They argued with vigour;
But still it’s a bone of contention.”
There was a man named Moulder
There was a man named Moulder
who tripped over a boulder
instead he tripped on a rock
and grasped his own cock
and threw himself over his shoulder.
There once was a girl from Sidney
There once was a girl from Sidney
Who could take it right up to her kidney
But a guy from Quebec
Shoved it up to her neck
He had a long one, now didn’t he.
My penis, dear girl, is so small
My penis, dear girl, is so small;
It’s the size of an atom, that’s all.
But an atom’s main mission
Is fusion and fission
And BANG!! I shall leave you in thrall.