Anheuser

Anheuser from limericks
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As coronavirus draws near

As lockdowns and closures remain,

The Martini

The Martini from limericks

There once was a man named Sweeney

There once was a man named Sweeney from limericks
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There once was a lady Annheiuser

There once was a lady Annheiuser
Who claimed that no man could surprise her
But Pabst took a chance
found a Schlitz in his pants
and now, she is sadder… Budweiser

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In the check out at the food store

In the check out at the food store
a nun was advising the poor:
“Hey you up in front!
That’s too many items you cunt!
And they won’t take food stamps for beer ya dumb whore.”

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There once was a man named McSweeny

There once was a man named McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be Couth
He added some Vermouth
And slipped his chick a Martini!

There once was a barmaid named Gale

There once was a barmaid named Gale
On whose breasts was the menu for ale
But since she was kind
For the sake of the blind
On her ass it was printed in Braille.

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There once was a young barmaid from Wales

There once was a young barmaid from Wales
On her breasts were written the prices of ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
The prices were tatooed in braille

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