Tag: food

In Denmark, they fear spicy bites

In Denmark, they fear spicy bites,
For it leads to uncomfortable nights.
With peppers, they quit,
To avoid liquid shits,
And stick to their mild food delights.

They put their supplies in their place

Getting ready to send it to space

NASA had a surprise

For their girls and their guys

With some pizza to stuff their face

In Europe, tensions did boil

So lawyers began to toil

Two chocolate hares

‘Swhat caused the affairs

And all of it over gold foil

This isn’t just some wedding cake

It’s a quite famous keepsake

Over 40-years-old

Probably filled with mold

Someone paid two grand for a tummy ache

This guy is a real shitty dude

And this move was truly quite crude

He got some citations

For killing crustaceans

Spoiling thousands of bucks in seafood

Such an age is quite tough to obtain

Which he claims is from chicken brain

Said that he liked to eat

Chicken brain, not the meat

But to me, he sounds batshit insane

Business wasn’t booming last year

Some reassessing their chosen career

But Fuechschen persuaded

Some goods to be traded

To make bread to help sell their beer

The food on his tummy, so teeny

Looking for a steak or linguini

But his hunger won

Seeing the dog in the bun

And stole a bite off of somebody’s weeny

In Israel, twas a bit of a spill

Killing things like turtles and krill

But the vets, they had found

That the mayo went down

Clearin’ oil much better than a pill

At first, this sounds like some joke

But some do dumb shit when they’re broke

Was this what Tony ate

When he said “they’re grrreeaat?”

Forty pounds of cornflakes and coke

Do you remember that one dude?

His TikTok, many times has been viewed

He drank Ocean Spray

While he cruised the highway

Now his signed bottle, a museum, will include

Jackson had feared for a loss

So he bet about drinking hot sauce

The spicy stuff, he did shoot

Then others followed suit

His joke’s now raised 10k, like a boss

Ben and Jerry’s has made a new treat

Something yummy for your dog to eat

But seems unnecessary

The treat made of dairy

As they like to eat their own sheeet

The EU just gave the thumbs up

On mealworms, saying we can eat up

Fried or barbequed

But to me it’s not food

If I eat it, I’ll fucking throw up

A trucker was driving his route

When a loose screw must’ve come out

What the stores couldn’t take

Gave Bean’s Cafe a break

With free produce for them to dish out

In their mouths, McDonald’s, some cram

The burgers I get, but hot damn

This one’s unreal,

Who’d try this meal

With oreo’s, mayo, and spam?

This year has truly been whack

And good times, there is quite a lack

But it’s looking up

Cause Mac’s cooking up

And they’re bringing McRibs fucking back!

You’d hope that people would be wiser

But some need a full-time advisor

If to yellowstone yer goin’

It might be worth knowin’

Don’t try and cook dinner in the geyser

Subway is not healthy they said

Subway is not healthy they said,

In irish court, the attorney had pled

They shit on the chain

Saying “the loaves, they contain

Too much sugar to constitute bread!”

Habañeros are not toys.

A pepper I chopped to the nub
Cooked with eggs for my breakfast grub
Then in a stall
I scratched at my balls
The burn eased when I teabagged my tub

There once was a man from York

There once was a man from York
who picked his nose with a fork
when it got stuck
he said “i don’t give a fuck”
and walked around looking like a dork

A hot little night nurse named Hearst

A hot little night nurse named Hearst
Got off with a bratwurst at first;
But her pleasure now lies
In a non-deli guise
As the interns take turns for the Wurst.

There once was an employee named Ross

There once was an employee named Ross
Who was fired one day by his boss
Because he was found
With his pants on the ground
Dripping nasty stuff into the sauce

There once was a girl from Belize

There once was a girl from Belize
Who could put fruit in her cunt with ease
If you’re drinking some tea
When she has to pee
Just ask “Some lemon juice, please.”