Goto had just won the gold
And the mayor had wanted to hold
The winning medal
But had to backpedal
For biting it like a five-year-old
Favorite This! Goto had just won the gold
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(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Favorite This! Off to the links, he grabbed his sticks
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Off to the links, he grabbed his sticks
Then Smith got caught up with some dicks
Did not shoot his best
And stepped on a nest
Where hornets gave him some pricks
Favorite This! Winther had some golf balls to hit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Winther had some golf balls to hit
But first, he had to take a shit
Hit the bathroom before
Then went for the door
But locked himself in for a bit
Favorite This! Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed
As they’re shouting and shaking their fist
Hubbell kept scoring
Which got the crowd roaring
They sucked, how could he resist?
Favorite This! ‘Twas more than football to look at
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...‘Twas more than football to look at
As there was a dangling cat
Who could have died
And we would have cried
Thankfully it didn’t go splat
Favorite This! Two brothers, they hiked really high
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Two brothers, they hiked really high
So between two tall peaks, they could tie
The old record, they beat
With this dangerous feat
Just get shit-faced like a normal guy
Favorite This! A man, he was tearing down walls
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A man, he was tearing down walls
And made out with quite some odd hauls
Now under his house
It wasn’t a mouse
But a shit ton of bowling balls
Favorite This! The swimmers lined up for the race
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The swimmers lined up for the race
All hoping that they’d win first place
They made some headway
Before the delay
As a boat was in the wrong space
Favorite This! Someone please make this guy a cake
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Someone please make this guy a cake
For a year of jumping in the lake
Even through the cold
The stunt didn’t get old
Now next time he’ll have to raise the stake
Favorite This! On tickets, she spent her money
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...On tickets, she spent her money
Her guest was a little bit funny
Brought to keep her chill
Gave the crowd a thrill
Such a hit was this therapy bunny
Favorite This! Rory’s shots aren’t often this bad
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Rory’s shots aren’t often this bad
But this one was off just a tad
He lined up his shot
Then gave it a swat
But ended up nailing his dad
Favorite This! Camille went on a walk with her bud
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Camille went on a walk with her bud
But the stroll became a real dud
From enjoying the breeze
To sinking to her knees
She found herself stuck in the mud
Favorite This! The Lookouts had lost their mascot
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The Lookouts had lost their mascot
“Someone must’ve stole it” they thought
They started their hunt
To catch the ol’ cunt
But found the costume in the parking lot
Favorite This! MMA is pretty damn rough
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...MMA is pretty damn rough
And those fighters are totally buff
In the midst of their scrap
Pliev’s finger went snap
Holy shit that guy’s so fuckin’ tough
Favorite This! In Yosemite some skiers had skied,
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...In Yosemite, some skiers had skied,
But this time, a more dangerous deed
For if they fucked it up
In a cast, they’d wind up
And through a straw they would have to feed
Favorite This! An Ohio man needed no dare
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...An Ohio man needed no dare
To keep him from cutting his hair
“I’ll cut it again,
If the Browns can win”
Six years later, a new do he’ll wear
Favorite This! The Holy Lady from Santa Cruz
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Batter up
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...There once was a man from Van Isle
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn’t his style.
“I’ll get my workouts,” he said,
“At home, in my bed,
‘Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!”
Favorite This!