Goto had just won the gold
And the mayor had wanted to hold
The winning medal
But had to backpedal
For biting it like a five-year-old
Tag: sports
Off to the links, he grabbed his sticks
Off to the links, he grabbed his sticks
Then Smith got caught up with some dicks
Did not shoot his best
And stepped on a nest
Where hornets gave him some pricks
Winther had some golf balls to hit
Winther had some golf balls to hit
But first, he had to take a shit
Hit the bathroom before
Then went for the door
But locked himself in for a bit
Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed
Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed
As they’re shouting and shaking their fist
Hubbell kept scoring
Which got the crowd roaring
They sucked, how could he resist?
‘Twas more than football to look at
‘Twas more than football to look at
As there was a dangling cat
Who could have died
And we would have cried
Thankfully it didn’t go splat
Two brothers, they hiked really high
Two brothers, they hiked really high
So between two tall peaks, they could tie
The old record, they beat
With this dangerous feat
Just get shit-faced like a normal guy
A man, he was tearing down walls
A man, he was tearing down walls
And made out with quite some odd hauls
Now under his house
It wasn’t a mouse
But a shit ton of bowling balls
The swimmers lined up for the race
The swimmers lined up for the race
All hoping that they’d win first place
They made some headway
Before the delay
As a boat was in the wrong space
Someone please make this guy a cake
Someone please make this guy a cake
For a year of jumping in the lake
Even through the cold
The stunt didn’t get old
Now next time he’ll have to raise the stake
On tickets, she spent her money
On tickets, she spent her money
Her guest was a little bit funny
Brought to keep her chill
Gave the crowd a thrill
Such a hit was this therapy bunny
Rory’s shots aren’t often this bad
Rory’s shots aren’t often this bad
But this one was off just a tad
He lined up his shot
Then gave it a swat
But ended up nailing his dad
Camille went on a walk with her bud
Camille went on a walk with her bud
But the stroll became a real dud
From enjoying the breeze
To sinking to her knees
She found herself stuck in the mud
The Lookouts had lost their mascot
The Lookouts had lost their mascot
“Someone must’ve stole it” they thought
They started their hunt
To catch the ol’ cunt
But found the costume in the parking lot
MMA is pretty damn rough
MMA is pretty damn rough
And those fighters are totally buff
In the midst of their scrap
Pliev’s finger went snap
Holy shit that guy’s so fuckin’ tough
In Yosemite some skiers had skied,
In Yosemite, some skiers had skied,
But this time, a more dangerous deed
For if they fucked it up
In a cast, they’d wind up
And through a straw they would have to feed
An Ohio man needed no dare
An Ohio man needed no dare
To keep him from cutting his hair
“I’ll cut it again,
If the Browns can win”
Six years later, a new do he’ll wear
There once was a man from Van Isle
There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn’t his style.
“I’ll get my workouts,” he said,
“At home, in my bed,
‘Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!”