This man was headed to a cell

This man was headed to a cell

But cops saw that he wasn’t well

Saw something in the man

Through the body scan

They found a shotgun shell

Some collectors, they choose to own

Some collectors, they choose to own

Comic books, old pornos, or cologne

Some of these buyer’s

Collection requires

Guns and things used by Capone

A Munich man was flying back

A Munich man was flying back

Traveling with only his rucksack

Was it just dumb luck,

Or’s he a dim fuck?

‘Cause it looked like he planned to attack

With the cat, she was having some fun

With the cat, she was having some fun

Using the laser pointer on a gun

Things soon went awry

Her friend shot in the thigh

Just about a foot of his bun

In the dirt, it was buried and snug

In the dirt, it was buried and snug

But a mysterious thing they undug 

They were afraid

It was a grenade

But turned out to be a butt plug

With a gun, he walked into the foyer

With a gun, he walked into the foyer

“It’s a fake!” said his old employer

He tried to play cool

But is truly a fool

As he now wants to be his own lawyer

We all do dumb shit when we’re drunk

We all do dumb shit when we’re drunk

Like gambling or trying to dunk

But this guy stole a sword

Then his guilt, he ignored

40 years ‘fore he returned it, the punk

His actions, unruly and sus

His actions, unruly and sus

The chaos, it caused quite a fuss

This asshole should have known

That in jail he’d be thrown

For shooting a flamethrower off of a bus

Remember those assholes with guns?

Remember those assholes with guns?

The pricks on their lawn, yeah those ones

Now they’re looking to sue

For the attention they drew

But they deserve all the looks and the shuns

resident of the town of Albany

In 1994, a resident of the town of Albany suffered a burglary
A lot of things were stolen, including a Television and some armory
A resident had recently got the shotgun in his possession
But he didn’t steal it according to the investigation
All the things, including the shotgun were returned to their owner on its 26th anniversary