Tag: Politics

There once was a task force so grand

There once was a task force so grand,
Claimed to fix bias, in demand.
But the story’s so fake,
It’s a big, foolish shake,
Just a scheme that won’t ever stand!

Trump’s meme coin was tanking, quite grim

Trump’s meme coin was tanking, quite grim,
‘Til he dangled a dinner with him.
Now values arise—
But is it a prize,
Or a bribe dressed in digital trim?

Though Elon now claims he’s withdrawn

Though Elon now claims he’s withdrawn,
The chaos he sowed lingers on.
With Tesla’s bad run,
The harm’s mostly done—
His “retreat” is just smoke before dawn.

The loans are back, here comes the chase

The loans are back, here comes the chase,
Defaulted folks can’t find much grace.
With wages so thin,
The feds still dig in—
In hard times, they quicken the pace.

RFK Jr.’s got a new scheme

RFK Jr.’s got a new scheme,
A registry born from a dream.
But history shows,
Where such tracking goes—
The Nazis once mapped out that theme.

Pete Hegseth now glam at HQ

Pete Hegseth now glam at HQ,
With a studio fit for a view.
In drag he may dress,
While dodging the mess—
Playing war chief with blush and some glue!

In Florida’s sunshine state

In Florida’s sunshine state,
A ten-million deal sealed their fate.
While Hope wore a grin,
The funds poured right in—
To fight pot, not help—ain’t that great?

Though Trump gave out orders with fire

Though Trump gave out orders with fire,
Some firms didn’t bend to his ire.
In court they still shine,
While DOJ whines—
Judge Howell called out their satire!

They shuttered the truth-spotting crew

They shuttered the truth-spotting crew,
Said, “Lies? Eh, we’ll just let ’em through.”
Now Putin can spin,
While bots grin and grin—
And facts get flushed down with the loo.

In a district that’s painted deep red

In a district that’s painted deep red,
Rep. Kiley is losing some cred.
Though he once had the might,
Thirty thousand showed up to fight—
Now it’s Bernie and AOC ahead!

A warning from Hillary came clear

A warning from Hillary came clear:
“Authoritarians rule through fear.”
They deported a man,
Defying the plan—
And justice just vanished this year.

Some Republicans made a bold play

Some Republicans made a bold play,
To take free tax filing away.
Though simple and fair,
They just didn’t care—
They’d rather we all have to pay.

In Scotland, a curious stand

In Scotland, a curious stand,
“No bans on our cats,” they’ve planned.
With a flick of their tails,
Through the Highlands they sail,
Forever to roam through the land!

There once was a leader-to-be

There once was a leader-to-be,
Whose ties caused a scandalous spree.
“Collusion!” they cried,
Yet she still turned the tide,
Now she heads up the famed intel tree.

In the halls where the bureaucrats roam

In the halls where the bureaucrats roam,
Twenty thousand have chosen to roam.
With a buyout in hand,
They have left their command,
Leaving desks in the government home.

Some fools made a choice in a flash

Some fools made a choice in a flash,
Which led to a market-wide crash.
They tripped in their haste,
Their money laid waste,
Then stepped into dog shit—what trash!

There once was a man in D.C.

There once was a man in D.C.,
Who taxed goods from land and the sea.
He spared China some strain,
Said, “You’ll all feel the pain,”
While his fortune kept him carefree!

There once was a man named Musk,

There once was a man named Musk,
Whose power spread thick as dusk.
He bought up the sky, the roads, oh my!
Now laws bend to his every tusk.

But hope still remains in the fight,
A plumber will set things aright.
With a jump and a “Wahoo!”—Elon is through,
Luigi will ghost-bust the blight!

There once was a man in a storm,

There once was a man in a storm,
Who should have shown kindness as norm.
But he scoffed at D.E.I.,
Let good judgment fly,
And strayed far from decent reform.

In office just days, Trump’s begun,

In office just days, Trump’s begun,
Promised much, but delivered on none.
From tariffs to walls,
His agenda now stalls,
Leaving many surprised and undone.

There once was a man, frail and gray,

There once was a man, frail and gray,
Who feared what his own folks might say.
A snowflake’s mere fall,
Had him fleeing the hall,
As his boldness dissolved clean away.

In a Thai town, chaos did brew

In a Thai town, chaos did brew,
Marauding monkeys, a troublesome crew.
Lock them up, they decree,
Send them far out to sea,
Peace restored, the townsfolk pursue.

In Korea, a tale of dismay

In Korea, a tale of dismay,
Trash-filled balloons drift in the fray.
With each poop-filled flight,
It’s a smelly plight,
A situation, oh so cliche.

North’s antics, a stinky affair,
Sending dung through the crisp, clean air.
South’s patience wears thin,
As the odors begin,
A diplomacy gone beyond repair.

In Louisiana’s bayou so deep

In Louisiana’s bayou so deep,
Extremists, in faith, take a leap.
Forcing kids to read,
Their beliefs, a creed,
Ignoring the law’s sacred keep.

With church and state meant to be parted,
Their actions leave many dishearted.
In textbooks, they preach,
Beyond their own reach,
Their agenda, the law has thwarted.

Yet still, they persist in their quest,
Ignoring what’s right, what’s best.
But the law stands firm,
Their zeal they must squirm,
For freedom demands this be addressed.

Poor baby Ron

Poor baby Ron
Got another quote wrong
He tried his very best
but when put to the test
Sounded like he hit the bong

Teachers scrambled for a dollar

Made the internet holler

we should give a fuck

what they did for a buck

And to not live in squalor

The Trumpies, they think themselves smart

A new saying, they wanted to start

“Let’s go Brandon,” they yell

But the message they sell

“Fuck Joe Biden” is at the heart

On her costume, she did her best

But was threatened with arrest

Construction was planned

And she took a stand

‘Cause technically it was protest

A handful of Maine license plates

Have words you’d just say to your mates

Like shit, piss, or fuck

Some are out of luck

As reviews of these tags awaits

Rats are your typical pests

In dumpsters, where they build their nests

Trav’ling Rome in masse

And smelling like ass

As boars are their unwanted guests

This man found Macron a disgrace

And thought he’d put him in his place

As quite the dead-eye

He let the egg fly

And nearly hit him in face

At a park, Merkel shared a few words

While feeding some tropical birds

Then one bit her hand

And the photo was grand

Plus I’m sure she was covered in turds

These leaders were having a chat

And quite a good one at that

But Peanut thought

He’d risk a swat

Being cute is what he is good at

For mayor, he wanted their pick

So on stage, he gave his shtick

But soon interrupted

As chaos erupted

Because of a drone with a dick

Souvenirs are post cards or hat

Souvenirs are postcards or hats

Or even a meaningful tat

They stole some land

A shit ton of sand

What the fuck would they do with all that?

There was a deal for some land

But it didn’t go over as planned

The mess did unfold

When the tower was sold

You know someone’s getting canned

Some Ohioans are a bit slow

In getting their first vaccine dose

They came up with a plot

To get people their shot

With a chance at a nice wad of dough

Most of the oldies and churchgoers

Are fine with the engines and mowers

But one thing they can’t stand

And went and got it banned

Now no more loud, gas-powered leaf blowers

It’s so hard just being a teen,

Doing school and keeping your room clean,

But in a strive for perfection,

They rigged the election

All so she could be homecoming queen

Some reptiles are causing headaches

As they’re causing some minor outbreaks

Now the Florida commission’s

Against new admissions

So they’re restricting iguanas and snakes

Some people, they tried to rebel

Saying the Dems would usher in hell

But some of them got caught

And thrown in jail to rot

Now they’re crying “boohoo” in their cell

This week on our capitol hill,

More shit they are trying to shill

‘Stead of giving us money

They thought it be funny

To read a 600 page bill

Bernie Sander’s is not one for glitz

Or spending weekends staying at the Ritz

Some may think he’s extreme

But a good guy, it would seem

He raised money selling his funny mitts

On Thursday, our buddy Teddy Cruz

Was having a case of the blues

To the airport, he rolled

To get away from the cold

Now his people, he’ll have to shmooze

This proves congress is filled with dumb cunts

Instead of work, they pull these kinds of stunts

All this effort just to

Push this bill through

So rednecks can start their Bigfoot hunts

Sadly, this thing is quite rare

Politicians who work like they care

From that dog and the goat

Our guys should take note

Cuz these animals are better, I swear

A little contest, they decided to run

“A state dino would oh so much fun”

Hate to be the bad guy

But I think this is why

Lawmakers never get anything done

Lawmakers in the state of PA

Shared a historic moment, Tuesday

His mom’s the newbie

But if they disagree

Could make for a tense holiday

Votes cast can be even, in which case

Some rules, must be put into place

“If a tie’s where you’re at

Then draw names from a hat

To decide the mayoral race”

The inauguration, Bernie Sanders was there

And people were thrilled about his outerwear

Quite crazy, it seems

That it spawned many memes

When all he did was sit in a chair