For mayor, he wanted their pick
So on stage, he gave his shtick
But soon interrupted
As chaos erupted
Because of a drone with a dick
Some people care for stray cats
Some people care for stray cats
With treats and kisses and pats
And feeding a duck
Is not gross as fuck
But it is when it’s 20 rats
A man had been thrown in the clink
A man had been thrown in the clink
His release, just right on the brink
With his payment, he lied
And was sent back inside
For real, what did this fucker think?
The pilot just took to sky
The pilot just took to sky
And spotted what looked like a guy
Who had on his back
Some sort of jetpack
He’ll be lucky if he doesn’t die
A woman was holding her pup
A woman was holding her pup
When she dropped it, it didn’t get up
Drove to cops, in her car
Who then gave CPR
Damn, that lady really fucked up
This beefalo’s caused quite the stir
This beefalo’s caused quite the stir
He refused his slaughter to occur
His life on the run
Is over and done
Down to Florida, they let him transfer
This isn’t just some wedding cake
This isn’t just some wedding cake
It’s a quite famous keepsake
Over 40-years-old
Probably filled with mold
Someone paid two grand for a tummy ache
A ten percent tip is okay
A ten percent tip is okay
“Twenty is great,” some will say
But an NH guest
Promised the best
And left a tip of 16k
He was learning to shoot chipmunks dead
He was learning to shoot chipmunks dead
But this little shot, he misread
They’ll need a band-aid
Since it ricocheted
And shot his uncle in the head
In Baton Rouge, there’s been an influx
In Baton Rouge, there’s been an influx
Of close to about 60 ducks
The city’s fretting
And find it upsetting
But the birds, they give zero fucks