An aquarium is letting you bid

An aquarium is letting you bid

On belugas that Canada rid

People picking the name 

Is a dangerous game

They’ll get something like “Asshat” or “Shid”

People just want to have hope

People just want to have hope

Some get it from booze or from dope

What does it for me

Is this pic, you see

Of Spider-man and the Pope

Now Tesla may be a bit fucked

Now Tesla may be a bit fucked

As some drivers, from cars have been chucked

Cause robots were driving

Now people are dying 

So Cali’s looking at misconduct

Do ETs exist? We don’t know

Do ETs exist? We don’t know

If so, they haven’t said “hello”

Some scientist’s thoughts

Think there’s good spots

For them to watch this shit show

Someone please make this guy a cake

Someone please make this guy a cake

For a year of jumping in the lake

Even through the cold

The stunt didn’t get old

Now next time he’ll have to raise the stake

There once was a bear in AZ

There once was a bear in AZ

That climbed what he thought was a tree

The utility pole

S’where he ended his stroll

Made it down and now he runs free

This girl, for her dogs she did care

This girl, for her dogs she did care

So she leapt on a whim and a prayer

Went in unarmed 

And came out unharmed

Which is lucky when shoving a bear

Some jobs are for dogs and for cats

Some jobs are for dogs and for cats

To which they are paid in soft pats

Now Magawa is done

But he had a good run

Now a legend among bomb-sniffing rats

To her ticket, she gave a quick toss

To her ticket, she gave a quick toss

And considered the purchase a loss

But her friends held her trash

So she’d win the cash

For her, no more shopping at Ross