“I did it! I won! Oh my gosh!”

“I did it! I won! Oh my gosh!”

So she claims but she lost in the wash

With a simple goof

She lost her proof

Which might keep her from living all posh

A man had just bought some groceries,

A man had just bought some groceries,

Got to his car, and pulled out his keys

He looked in the backseat

Then chose to retreat

To get away from fuckton of bees

A lady had snuck into school

A lady had snuck into school

Undercover and playing it cool

This entire sham

Was for Instagram

To get followers, oh what a tool

A couple had feared for outbreaks

A couple had feared for outbreaks

Which was causing them some headaches

But the couple claim

The purpose of the flame

Was to get rid of all of the snakes

As crews hacked away with their tool

As crews hacked away with their tool

The education board decided to rule 

Chemicals caused a delay

So the kids couldn’t stay

Then turned a Macy’s store into a school

MMA is pretty damn rough

MMA is pretty damn rough

And those fighters are totally buff

In the midst of their scrap

Pliev’s finger went snap

Holy shit that guy’s so fuckin’ tough

These pilots, they got quite the scare

These pilots, they got quite the scare

When they collided in the air

The two planes, they struck

And got lucky as fuck

A situation like this is quite rare

Robot research is making head way

Robot research is making head way

And the future will be here someday

Sophia’s getting a start

By making some art

And out their asses people will pay

With the building aflame and on fire

With the building aflame and on fire

Thought he’d better flee from the pyre

With a leap and a bound 

He made it to the ground

It just wasn’t his time to retire

‘Member that cow who was runnin’ around?

‘Member that cow who was runnin’ around?

In that small lil’ Rhode Island town

You’ll be happy to hear

That the ol’ roaming steer

Is back home and has finally been found