On his Twitter, Mark had to admit

On his Twitter, Mark had to admit

Of graffiti on the rocks he had writ

Go so suck of Trump

You pathetic old grump

This Q-Anoner’s a real piece of shit

At a yard sale, an antique was sold

At a yard sale, an antique was sold

But its value had not been foretold

Some experts did say

It’s worth 500k

For that price, it had better be gold

A man standing handsome and lax,

A man standing handsome and lax,

In a jacket and freshly pressed slacks

You walk over to him,

Place your hand on his limb

It’s Don Draper but he’s made of wax

In Yosemite some skiers had skied,

In Yosemite, some skiers had skied,
But this time, a more dangerous deed
For if they fucked it up
In a cast, they’d wind up
And through a straw they would have to feed

Some reptiles are causing headaches

Some reptiles are causing headaches

As they’re causing some minor outbreaks

Now the Florida commission’s

Against new admissions

So they’re restricting iguanas and snakes

No one knew if Brandy was alive

No one knew if Brandy was alive

15 years, no one’d thought she’d survive

I’m sure she’d come home

From her lengthy roam

Maybe waiting until she could drive

In the basement of a UM library,

In the basement of a UM library,

Lurked something so creepy and scary

So the crew, they flipped shit

Fearing they might get bit,

Twas spiders that made them so wary

In Israel, twas a bit of a spill

In Israel, twas a bit of a spill

Killing things like turtles and krill

But the vets, they had found

That the mayo went down

Clearin’ oil much better than a pill

New recruits they were trying to groom

New recruits they were trying to groom,

By teaching them how to go “boom”

But they shit the bed

When they wound up dead

Maybe they should have done it on zoom