A man from Turkey went to the ER
So Boncuk, she followed the car
The daily trek, she endured
‘Til the day he was cured
Dogs are better than humans, by far
In Key West, there have been some talks
In Key West, there have been some talks
To try and curb the chickenly flocks
Two-fifty per day
Violators will pay
To keep people for feeding the cocks
This proves congress is filled with dumb cunts
This proves congress is filled with dumb cunts
Instead of work, they pull these kinds of stunts
All this effort just to
Push this bill through
So rednecks can start their Bigfoot hunts
People love the fancy and fine
People love the fancy and fine
Like cheeses and grapes from the vine
But now that these pricks
Added this to the mix
Some’ll be too good for earth wine
Jackson had feared for a loss
Jackson had feared for a loss
So he bet about drinking hot sauce
The spicy stuff, he did shoot
Then others followed suit
His joke’s now raised 10k, like a boss
Ben and Jerry’s has made a new treat
Ben and Jerry’s has made a new treat
Something yummy for your dog to eat
But seems unnecessary
The treat made of dairy
As they like to eat their own sheeet
Some break-ups just flat out suck
Some break-ups just flat out suck
And feel like you got hit by a truck
But some cops from NC
Wanna fill you with glee
And lock up your heartless ex-fuck
The EU just gave the thumbs up
The EU just gave the thumbs up
On mealworms, saying we can eat up
Fried or barbequed
But to me it’s not food
If I eat it, I’ll fucking throw up
The pigeon was set to be killed
The pigeon was set to be killed
“With disease he’s certainly filled”
From the US, they thought
Then found out he’s not
So his new owner is reason’bly thrilled
The blaze took their home, the poor cats
The blaze took their home, the poor cats
No place to hang their sweaters or hats
They’ve begun to inquire
On what started the fire
But suspecting it coulda been rats