There once was a woman from Blight
Her speed was much faster than light
I can now say
I fucked her today
And she came sometime last night
Old George had an odd-looking dangular
Old George had an odd-looking dangular.
Rectangular? No, but triangular;
Isosceles too.
Three-dimensional? True;
Therefore tetrahedronically angular.
Oh never in all of her life
Oh never in all of her life
Had Belinda such trouble and strife
As when Tommy got stuck
In her having a fuck;
So she cut off his dick with a knife.
There was a young lady in France
There was a young lady in France
Who hopped on a Bus in a Trance
Three passangers fucked her
Besides the conductor
And the Driver shot twice in his pants.
A flatulent fellow called Bart
A flatulent fellow called Bart
Consumed beans for the sake of his art
And his silent but deadlies
Played beautiful medleys
That plucked at the strings of one’s heart.
There was a lady from University
There was a lady from University
Who was the sole of perversity
She was into candles
And all manner of scandals
And sexual positions in diversity
There was a young girl from Khartoum
There was a young girl from Khartoum
Who took a nancy boy up to her room.
She said, “Now, my dear,
Let’s get one thing quite clear:
“Who does what-and when-and to whom.”
She’s easily pleased is young Mandy
She’s easily pleased is young Mandy;
You just have to offer her candy,
Then down on all fours
She’ll say, “Take me! I’m yours!”
You should see what she does for a brandy!
That’s no way to behave
That’s no way to behave;
Why, your mother would turn in her grave
Yes, she might;
Though I turn her each night
Seeking fresh bits to screw and save.
Two lesbians north of the town
Two lesbians north of the town
Made sixty-nine love on the ground.
Their unbridled lust
Leaked out in the dust
And made so much mud that they drowned.