There was a young man from Spartar,
Who was an incredible farter.
At the strength of one bean,
He could play “God Save the Queen”,
And Beethoven’s “Moonlight Senata”.

The selection was tough, I admit.
He didn’t stutter one little bit.
He threw his arse aloft,
And he suddenly coughed.
And collapsed in a shower of shit!

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A government pleaded in vain
The Wheeler’s came up with a tale
Have you ever wanted somethin’ so bad 
There once was a man from Nantucket,
It’s come to be well understood