Built before they were born
These maintainers are sworn
To mind the stock
of the nuclear clock
And prepare our atomic thorn
Favorite This! Built before they were born
(No Ratings Yet)
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(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Favorite This! They made a hole in the wall
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...They made a hole in the wall
Thought it would be small
But it was too big
Now they’re in the brig
Likely trying to not bawl
Favorite This! To be a cop they’re not willing
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...To be a cop they’re not willing
When told to stop stealing
They say it’s about pay
But there’s no way
It’s about no more killing
Favorite This! New York was high as fuck
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...New York was high as fuck
with attendees trying to duck
There’s is no hope
To avoid the dope
Straight Edge? no luck!
Favorite This! Idalia is hitting the coast
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Idalia is hitting the coast
Trying to do it’s most
It wants to kill
and give us a thrill
“We will survive” we can boast.
Favorite This! Florida man at night
(2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)Loading...Florida man at night
Didn’t seem so bright
Cops felt his dick
he said it was a trick
Should have turned on his light
Favorite This! A cat up a stick
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A cat up a stick
Put on a great trick
sat for a day
till he felt ok
Then came down like a prick
Favorite This! Teachers scrambled for a dollar
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Teachers scrambled for a dollar
Made the internet holler
we should give a fuck
what they did for a buck
And to not live in squalor
Favorite This! These residents had an odd guest
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...These residents had an odd guest
One some might even call a pest
Crawled out from the drain
The one meant for rain
Was a gator who looked a bit stressed
Favorite This! These painters were doing their work
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...These painters were doing their work
A homeowner, this did quite irk
Cut the rope knife
Which threatened their life
Who does this shit? What a jerk!
Favorite This! The Trumpies, they think themselves smart
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The Trumpies, they think themselves smart
A new saying, they wanted to start
“Let’s go Brandon,” they yell
But the message they sell
“Fuck Joe Biden” is at the heart
Favorite This! On her costume, she did her best
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...On her costume, she did her best
But was threatened with arrest
Construction was planned
And she took a stand
‘Cause technically it was protest
Favorite This! “It’s fucking gone?” Jimmy cussed
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...“It’s fucking gone?” Jimmy cussed
He didn’t know who to trust
Just when he thought
No one would be caught
Someone returned the lost bust
Favorite This! These Georgians are getting freaked
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...These Georgians are getting freaked
Some even yelled and some shrieked
The Joro Spider
Must be a boat rider
As over from Asia they sneaked
Favorite This! A man from PA’s on defense
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A man from PA’s on defense
After his tiny offense
He bought Mountain Dew
And then bid adieu
But was short by 43 cents
Favorite This! He took money he wasn’t due
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...He took money he wasn’t due
So nights in jail, he spent a few
But he ran the joint
So he made a point
To leave a nice, five-star review
Favorite This! This call must have been a headache
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...This call must have been a headache
Considering his health was at stake
Knew it’d be a battle
When he heard the rattle
Hours later he pulled the last snake
Favorite This! Dandeo had entered the race
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Dandeo had entered the race
And buckled in tight just in case
He zipped and he zoomed
The others were doomed
At 86, he won first place
Favorite This! Goto had just won the gold
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Goto had just won the gold
And the mayor had wanted to hold
The winning medal
But had to backpedal
For biting it like a five-year-old
Favorite This! This man was headed to a cell
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...This man was headed to a cell
But cops saw that he wasn’t well
Saw something in the man
Through the body scan
They found a shotgun shell
Favorite This! Off to the links, he grabbed his sticks
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Off to the links, he grabbed his sticks
Then Smith got caught up with some dicks
Did not shoot his best
And stepped on a nest
Where hornets gave him some pricks
Favorite This! The shore line has covered the docks
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The shore line has covered the docks
And the water is wetting the rocks
But some need to eat
And don’t care their feet
Are soaked on up to their socks
Favorite This! In the world, there are only a few
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...In the world, there are only a few
One living at New Orlean’s zoo
She went on a date
And found a nice mate
Now Menari is pregnant with two
Favorite This! Winther had some golf balls to hit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Winther had some golf balls to hit
But first, he had to take a shit
Hit the bathroom before
Then went for the door
But locked himself in for a bit
Favorite This! Some collectors, they choose to own
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Some collectors, they choose to own
Comic books, old pornos, or cologne
Some of these buyer’s
Collection requires
Guns and things used by Capone
Favorite This! Some workers think they deserve
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Some workers think they deserve
A liveable wage, oh the nerve!
At Michigan State
Hungry patrons must wait
Unless teachers step up to serve
Favorite This! This woman must have been deprived
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...This woman must have been deprived
And thought of a plan quite contrived
She changed the locks
Then kicked off her socks
And chilled before the cops arrived
Favorite This! Spencer Tunick flew to the Dead Sea
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Spencer Tunick flew to the Dead Sea
With his camera for a shooting spree
This vision he had
Was not at all clad
You can see from where the subjects pee
Favorite This! Pioneers of aviation
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Pioneers of aviation
An important duo of for our nation
Their strides were quite great
So they made a plate
But fucked up the orientation
Favorite This! A handful of Maine license plates
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A handful of Maine license plates
Have words you’d just say to your mates
Like shit, piss, or fuck
Some are out of luck
As reviews of these tags awaits
Favorite This! This poor pup fell into a crack
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...This poor pup fell into a crack
Where food and water did lack
Then five days passed
Now’s free at last
Safe at home now, she is back
Favorite This! Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Some folks from Kingsley are quite pissed
As they’re shouting and shaking their fist
Hubbell kept scoring
Which got the crowd roaring
They sucked, how could he resist?
Favorite This! A Munich man was flying back
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A Munich man was flying back
Traveling with only his rucksack
Was it just dumb luck,
Or’s he a dim fuck?
‘Cause it looked like he planned to attack
Favorite This! In the small town of Krefeld
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...In the small town of Krefeld
And ostrich chick is being held
They have no clue
If it fled the zoo
Or from someone’s house was expelled
Favorite This! Some people are born trans or gay
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Some people are born trans or gay
This school showed that is okay
They waved their pride flag
As they dressed in drag
Then made the field into a runway
Favorite This! This Liberian teen is the man
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...This Liberian teen is the man
Doing something not everyone can
Out driving one day
He found 50k
Returning it was just part of his plan
Favorite This! Some people like baking cakes
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Some people like baking cakes
Or fixing car tires and brakes
This dude from LV
Gets his own glee
By caring for 30 fucking snakes
Favorite This! An attraction in London was new
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...An attraction in London was new
That claimed to have a great view
But by the time
They finished their climb
Most thought the attraction was poo
Favorite This! Lost his stash and he had to mourn
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Lost his stash and he had to mourn
“I’ll get you for this” he had sworn
His parents dumped it
And he lost his shit
Thirty thousand for all of that porn
Favorite This! North Korea posed for a pic
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...North Korea posed for a pic
Most soldiers really looked slick
One man to the side
He just couldn’t hide
His jumpsuit showed clearly, his dick
Favorite This! His idea was truly quite cool
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...His idea was truly quite cool
So to his truck, he took a tool
But Tennessee state
Said he can’t operate
‘Til he registers his car as a pool
Favorite This! The birds traveled through New York state
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The birds traveled through New York state
With the journey starting off great
Into buildings, they flied
Was it suicide?
Or were they just meeting their fate?
Favorite This! A teacher had booked a field trip
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A teacher had booked a field trip
But a school bus wasn’t their whip
This one wasn’t lame
Since a party bus came
With bright lights and a pole to strip
Favorite This! The crime they did try to decrease
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The crime they did try to decrease
By calling up the town police
When they got there
Found a man in a chair
Having his drink in fucking peace
Favorite This! Now this guy’s is really a twit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Now this guy’s is really a twit
By robbing a bank he just hit
He charged through the door
Just one day before
All hail the new king dipshit
Favorite This! Rats are your typical pests
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Rats are your typical pests
In dumpsters, where they build their nests
Trav’ling Rome in masse
And smelling like ass
As boars are their unwanted guests
Favorite This! A record, this fish had broke
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A record, this fish had broke
And it made them an excited folk
But the fish Ben hooked
Had just been cooked
Which nearly gave him a stroke
Favorite This! I always found golf a bit lame
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...I always found golf a bit lame
But these brothers do love the game
And I shit you not
After their last shot
Their final score was the same
Favorite This! This man found Macron a disgrace
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...This man found Macron a disgrace
And thought he’d put him in his place
As quite the dead-eye
He let the egg fly
And nearly hit him in face
Favorite This! Two pandas were born at the zoo
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Two pandas were born at the zoo
So small they could fit in a shoe
Xiao Xiao and Lei Lei
I think’s how you say
The names of these fans of bamboo
Favorite This!