As clicketty-clack went the train
Over points it affected Miss Jane
In mysterious ways
For she left in a daze
With a highly embarrassing stain.

And now she’s addicted to trains
To relieve her frustrations and pains;
And the faster their speed
The more urgent her need
And the more satisfaction she gains.

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Were you a more elegant chap
“The President’s causing me stress,”
My back aches, my pussy is sore
The #hamburglar pulled out the stops
That mask screw-up needed unscrewing
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