The bird showed up at their house
And clung to one Westward spouse
He’s too protective
Or just defective
Now Todd’s best friend is a grouse
Some criminals, they just can’t quit
Some criminals, they just can’t quit
So these crimes, they have to commit
This goat broke down the door
Looking for a score
Rot in hell, you gross piece of shit
Such an age is quite tough to obtain
Such an age is quite tough to obtain
Which he claims is from chicken brain
Said that he liked to eat
Chicken brain, not the meat
But to me, he sounds batshit insane
This story comes from zoo in Berlin
This story comes from zoo in Berlin
Locked up in their cages, they’ve been
The monkeys got out
And wandered about
But have since been returned to their pen
Jurie thought the contest was unfair
Jurie thought the contest was unfair
Saying “The crown, she’s unfit to wear”
She took to the stage
In a jealous rage
And snatched the crown right off her hair
Rory’s shots aren’t often this bad
Rory’s shots aren’t often this bad
But this one was off just a tad
He lined up his shot
Then gave it a swat
But ended up nailing his dad
Some monkeys showed up in the bay
Some monkeys showed up in the bay
And so far they’re doing okay
They’ve avoided harm
Since they fled the farm
And now they’re in Florida to stay
Camille went on a walk with her bud
Camille went on a walk with her bud
But the stroll became a real dud
From enjoying the breeze
To sinking to her knees
She found herself stuck in the mud
No one wants their wedding outdone
No one wants their wedding outdone
So these lovers had a little fun
Their license will display
The extra special day
As they were married on 4-3-2-1
The Lookouts had lost their mascot
The Lookouts had lost their mascot
“Someone must’ve stole it” they thought
They started their hunt
To catch the ol’ cunt
But found the costume in the parking lot