A naughty suspect, named Jack, appeared out of the blue
Jumping through the city; a lovely kangaroo
His owner didn’t shut the gate all the way
So Jack pushed it open and got away
But the police managed to capture him after they got a clue
A dog named Cleo
A dog named Cleo went missing and it was a pity
But she showed up on her old house which was 50 miles away from Kansas City
Nobody knows how but she got her way
She went to a city that was many miles away
After a couple years she still remembers her old house; she’s really witty
Asleep on a porch was found the fugitive of the week
Asleep on a porch was found the fugitive of the week
Apparently, he didn’t understand the rules of hide and seek
He was supposed to hide to avoid arrest
But he decided to lie down and get some rest
When the policemen found him, they probably thought “this man ain’t slick”
A man faked his death
A man faked his death; he “was’ from New York
His death certificate had a typo; he must feel like a dork
He wanted to avoid jail
But it ended up being a fail
All of the plans he had; and no one seemed to work
Trump said some fucked up shit,
Trump said some fucked up shit,
Thinking it would be a hit.
Disgracefully said
of a man that is dead
“Gee, he’s really love this bit.”
After a lifetime of laying wood
After a lifetime of laying wood,
Ron Jeremy thinks he could
save his birth tree
thinking that maybe
Con Edison will do what it should
One dumb ass cop
One dumb ass cop
Blew his fuckin’ top
He thought he saw a finger
Got pissed when it did linger
Turned out his issue was a flop
if you’re going to steal
if you’re going to steal
a lady’s whole deal
here is a dare
change up the hair
maybe you’ll win on appeal?
Big tits save lives
Big tits save lives
Even if considered lies,
A bullet from an unknown source
Took a different course
Because of her enhanced boob size
When dumping the dearly departed
When dumping the dearly departed
Stay open hearted!
Keep a clean beach
Practice what I preach
And take your trash to where you started