A remarkable race are the Persians;
They have such peculiar diversions.
They make love the whole day
In the usual way
And save up the nights for perversions.
The was a man named Sir Lancelot
The was a man named Sir Lancelot
Who went to parties and danced a lot
When making a pass
At a young pretty lass
The front of his pants would advance a lot!
Sweet Mary the Celibate
Sweet Mary wanted to stay celibate
for a man with wealth and intelligence
She ran from the alter
For balls like Gibraltar
On a dimwit hung like an elephant
A wanton young lady from Wimley
A wanton young lady from Wimley
Reproached for not acting quite primly
Said, “Heavens above!
I know sex isn’t love,
But it’s such an entrancing facsimile.”
The Man From Madras
There once was a man from Madras
with balls made of flint and brass
On his wife he was rocking
And his balls were knocking
and lightning shot out of his ass.
A mathematician named Hall
A mathematician named Hall
Has a hexahedronical ball,
And the cube of its weight
Times his pecker’s, plus eight
Is his phone number, give him a call..
Two men from Kuala Lampur
Two men from Kuala Lampur
Buggered and fucked the same whore
‘Till the partition it split
And the jism and shit
Rolled out in great mounds on the floor.
There was a young man from St. Paul’s
There was a young man from St. Paul’s
Who read Harper’s Bazaar and McCall’s
Till he grew such a passion
For feminine fashion
That he knitted a snood for his balls.
A pretty young maiden from France
A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she’d “just take a chance.”
She let herself go
For an hour or so
And now all her sisters are aunts.
I heard that she would never say no
I heard that she would never say no
Just 10 bucks for a blow.
But when down on her knees
I said, “Oh baby please
Move up, you’re too low, that’s my toe!”