Not carrying a gun or a knife

Not carrying a gun or a knife

But still this will cause him some strife

Sick with COVID

He went and hid

And tried to fly dressed as his wife

In Philly, they’re having a race

In Philly, they’re having a race

With attire, a bit out of place

As tradition goes

You don’t have to wear clothes

With a mask just to cover your face

Someone please make this guy a cake

Someone please make this guy a cake

For a year of jumping in the lake

Even through the cold

The stunt didn’t get old

Now next time he’ll have to raise the stake

Some Ohioans are a bit slow

Some Ohioans are a bit slow

In getting their first vaccine dose

They came up with a plot

To get people their shot

With a chance at a nice wad of dough

Pinatas hold some kind of stash

Pinatas hold some kind of stash

And to get them, you give them a bash

What Carolina did

Made it look like COVID

This one for sure we would all like to smash

They’re giving vaccines in Sin City

They’re giving vaccines in Sin City

But this clinic is quite far from pretty

They had several spots

To distribute some shots

At the strip club, where you can see titty

A man was just trying to do good

A man was just trying to do good

Helping others get by when he could

So he raised some cash

And made quite the stash

Then the US fucked this Robin Hood

They’ve lived in their house for year

They’ve lived in their house for year

And wanted others to share in their cheer

To their neighbors, they write

After deciding to invite

Them all over for refreshing free beer

This Aussie had gotten quite bored

This Aussie had gotten quite bored

Some supplies, he started to hoard

Quarantine had it’s perk

With lots of time to work

Now he’s the cowboy of cardboard

We’ve been stuck inside for so long

We’ve been stuck inside for so long,

With our beer, our games, and our bong,

So we tried something new

Just to make it through

We be singin’ that old sailor song

To New Zealand, the woman had flown

To New Zealand, the woman had flown

But didn’t want to spend her night ‘lone

So the night man went up

To “cheer” the patron up

Then security caught them mid-bone

Last year’s better left in the past

Last year’s better left in the past

So a question, LSSU has asked

“What words from last year

Did you hate to hear?”

Those related to COVID were vast

Since the moment the first story aired

Since the moment the first story aired

Everyone felt so unprepared

So they panic bought

All the Charmin and Scott

I guess people shit more when they’re scared

As COVID tears through the nation

As COVID tears through the nation

There’s no hint of any cessation

So dressing up as a clown

To give the rundown

Brings some “cuteness” to such devastation 

Everyone knows what McConnell’s about

Everyone knows what McConnell’s about

A shit brain, a pig, a GOP sellout

His hands, black and blue

Prove the rumors are true

He’s a zombie or ghoul, no doubt

We all can agree that this year’s been real hard

We all can agree that this year’s been real hard

Some will get through while others are scarred 

But to tryna fund fracking

While COVID aid’s lacking

Is a punch in the face, a kick to the nard

In Bucharest, the election was nigh

In Bucharest, the election was nigh

The incumbent, he did reapply

He contracted COVID, 

Yet voters still voted,

Now the village is run by a dead guy

When dumping the dearly departed

When dumping the dearly departed

Stay open hearted!

Keep a clean beach

Practice what I preach

And take your trash to where you started

Swinging their big dick

Swinging their big dick
Republicans attempt to make it stick
They sent out a check
Thinking that heck
One time will do the trick

Toilet Paper Hording Is A Virus

Fuck ups think this virus

Will make them leak from their iris

They went on a spree

To buy up TP

Now society will treat them with bias.