I see by the size of your member
You’re as hot as a blazing coal ember!
So slicken that mast –
And hon, make it fast –
This girl’s not been poked since December!

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An ode to comic @JimGaffigan
At first, this sounds like some joke
A man standing handsome and lax,
When Richard resigned, he predicted
Delusions don’t work in Pandemics