To New Zealand, the woman had flown
But didn’t want to spend her night ‘lone
So the night man went up
To “cheer” the patron up
Then security caught them mid-bone
Last year’s better left in the past
Last year’s better left in the past
So a question, LSSU has asked
“What words from last year
Did you hate to hear?”
Those related to COVID were vast
In Indiana, they’ve lifted their ban
In Indiana, they’ve lifted their ban
One in place for a 50 year span
Now the hippies can run
They can play in the sun
And smoke weed in their Volkswagen van
A trucker was driving his route
A trucker was driving his route
When a loose screw must’ve come out
What the stores couldn’t take
Gave Bean’s Cafe a break
With free produce for them to dish out
Under his hair, he tried to conceal
Under his hair, he tried to conceal
Some cocaine from a sketchy drug deal
But this stupid fuck
Misjudged his luck
Cuz everyone knew his hair wasn’t real
The rodent emerged from its burl
The rodent emerged from its burl
Set its sights on an innocent girl
Attacked her right quick
The sneaky lil’ dick
So beware of this asshole-ish squirrel
In their mouths, McDonald’s, some cram
In their mouths, McDonald’s, some cram
The burgers I get, but hot damn
This one’s unreal,
Who’d try this meal
With oreo’s, mayo, and spam?
By the snake, the man was enticed
By the snake, the man was enticed
But 300 bucks was just overpriced
Pet in hand, he took off
The fucking jerk-off
But stealing a boa is such a lame heist
The inauguration, Bernie Sanders was there
The inauguration, Bernie Sanders was there
And people were thrilled about his outerwear
Quite crazy, it seems
That it spawned many memes
When all he did was sit in a chair
A pup who’d been gone for five years
A pup who’d been gone for five years
Her family, so sad, filled with tears
But her microchip
Showed ownership
Her reunion, it called for much cheers!